I signed up for this site not to long ago, few times I have Typed my whole life out on this thing and Glaze at the submit button Thinking do I really wanna let it all out in the open like this? do I really want the world to know who I really am? well I couldn't bring myself to do it and always Exit out of the page! But I might actually Submit it Tonight, cause I really don't know what tomorrow might bring. or if there even will be a tomorrow, I just know I'm dieing inside, I want answers I need answers But I believe I will never get them.... anyways I grew up with my dad and 3 older brothers, We lived in a small town. my father had lost his leg when he was 16 in a car accident so he was a Retired Crippled Single father of 4 kids. He was a alcoholic blamed his leg for the reason he always tipped a bottle " god Damn Spasms " he would moan out. My brothers and I spent Are whole child hood pretty much up stairs, where we knew we was safe and we knew he could not get us. spent are hours making up movies, watching TV on are 13 inch old beat down TV of 4 channels day dream of the day we would be come Free and spread are wings. for 13 years it was like that, I believe i seen my mother 3 times out of those whole 13 years, she was to busy building up her new family living life with her new hubby and having babies with him. to busy to worry about us, when I was 14 she came and swooped me up. and I thought life was gonna be Great then.... I remember the Drive to her new house where i had my Very own Bedroom all set up and ready, She turned to me and asked if my Dad ever touched me in a wrong way, asked if he did anything Weird to me Why? only to come and find out that my dad was her Dad I hated her for that For coming into my life 14 years later and Telling me this bullshit... Right then and there I wanted to go back home with my brothers i didn't wanna leave them behind I wanted to be with them they was my Guardian Angels, my friends the only people who understood and kept me safe all these years. My Dad might be a Drunk but He never Ever laid a Hand on me.... but I'm gonna have to end it there cause my sleep aid is kicking in and I'm about to pass out I'm sorry For this being so long... I'm sorry If this was just a waist of time It would be so nice to Get some replies I'll finish another time Goodnight!
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