I am so sick of bpd & the way it controls my life & effects so many ppl close 2 me...i've been struggling from last thursday 2 feel alittle better & do a little more & instead ive felt worse & done less...bpd goes on in my head 24/7 even in my sleep which is y i don't sleep much...but feel tired alot...feel out with my partner 2nite again...even though he's in england working & i'm in northern ireland I keep sending nrgitive txts..& he's doin wat he thinks best not replying r answering his phone...this illness is mentally & physically draining me...my heads never stops thinking, my legs ache & i have constant diorhia..which i put down 2 my new mood stabiliser..so stopped taking it 2day but hasn't stopped the cramps in my stomach...i no its not a tummy bug it's been goin on for weeks...i'm so fed up feeling like this now i am so close 2 lefting my bathrobe belt & strangling myself..it scares me...as i have 3 kids who need me...when will this never ending sad story end??
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