Personality Disorders Support Group

Personality disorders form a class of mental disorders that are characterized by long-lasting rigid patterns of thought and behaviour. Personality disorders are seen by the American Psychiatric Association as an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly from the expectations of the culture of the individual who exhibits it.

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Mask

wolfrkm18
wolfrkm18
I cannot keep this mask on forever. I guess this has been going on far too long. People don't know the truth about me. People see me as a saint. I am kind to people, I heal their wounded souls. Lots of people look up to me. But no one knows the truth behind the mask. People don't see what hatred and fear is behind the mask. I can only go so far before I collapse. Can fear cloud the judgment between right and wrong? I cannot pretend I am someone I am not. I have done a lifetime of wickedness in just this life alone. I cannot continue without endangering my life and the feelings of the ones I love. Now the question again;
Does the need of the many out weigh the need of the few? (Or the one)
OR
Does the need of the one out weigh the need of the many?
In other words, is it better to tell the ones that look up to you and live with there reaction, or to keep this mask on and to keep my life a secret even though I am about to collapse. With the knowledge of that they cannot help you.
I am living two lives, one is about to fail, and the one is about to be seen. I have lived a life where a lot of people know me as a quiet, nice person, but the side they have never seen is full of rage and hatred toward itself. Is it better for a person to be lost in time rather the family living with the consequence and feeling of grief along with a lot of people for one person? Either way, someone is going to be hurt. I dont want the wrong people to suffer of what I am.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It sounds like the real you is about to emerge regardless of how you try to keep it hid. Are you really that different from the person you try to show? You may find the people closest to you already know who you are. We all have good and bad qualities. I know when I try to hid my pain, people see straight through me. Maybe I'm just a bad actor. Or maybe my pain can't be hid. Who are you? How much will you change? My husband use to be a helpful person who said yes to all requests. He feels better now when he says no sometimes even when it will hurt the ones he loves. Example, his brother use to drink and drive. We told him we would pick him up when ever he needed a ride. It got to the point that we were getting calls at all times on weekends. We finally told him he needed to plan for a DD sometimes. We told him we loved him, didn't want him to drive drunk, but couldn't continue. Thinks worked out well. He gets rides home now and just leaves his car at the bar.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Wpre my mask maybe 40- 50 years then breakdown ripped it off. Better now than it was but miss that mask sometimes. Was very safe what with the armour and sword that cam e with it an all.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It sounds to me that the mask is going to come off one way or another. For me, and my many masks, when they start to come off....if I can get to them before the breakdown, I try to warn those I care about. This way they can be prepared for what may happen. They can protect themselves, while at the same time let me take off the mask and go through the rough adjustment period. This also helps them get use to a different me. It doesn't always work, but at least I try to give them a fair chance.

The choice is ultimately up to you. All I can give you is what I do (when I can). Good luck.
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