Personality Disorders Support Group
Personality disorders form a class of mental disorders that are characterized by long-lasting rigid patterns of thought and behaviour. Personality disorders are seen by the American Psychiatric Association as an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly from the expectations of the culture of the individual who exhibits it.
ive been upset lately, to the point that i don't really want to be alive anymore. last night i was talking to my best friend about things, and his phone died. but even now i'm convinced that he hung up on me and turned it off. . . even though i dont know what would have made him do that. i tried calling him today, but he's ignoring my calls. he got online and told me that he didn't feel like talking to anyone today. i freaked out and told him that he doesn't even care about me and he never makes an effort to be friends and that i really needed a friend bc i want to die. he said i was being mean and then he stopped talking to me, but he sent me some stupid email about how he's sorry and he'll call me later on. but it's stupid bc i don't HAVE til later on. i need someone now, and he's the only friend i can talk to about any of this and i hate that. i'm so mad at him right now. i know i probably shouldn't be and that i probably wont be in a few minutes or an hour or something, but right now i just feel like i hate him. and i hate it because i KNOW this is because of bpd and that's ridiculous. i feel like a little kid.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
i know when this all passes, i'm going to be so embarrassed by the way i've acted and i hate that too.
does anyone else ever do things like this???
It can be a bit stressful on our friends when they think that we're always turning to them (and to no one else) for help. Especially when they don't know what to do but listen.
Don't know if this helps, but thanks for listening to my little ramble session too.
I know how you feel about needing someone right now, and I'm sorry your friend had to be distant right at that time. Some idiot part of me wants to say that maybe he's got his own problems and needs some time before he can help (us borderlines can be a lot to handle), but you do need someone now. I need someone. What the hell is so wrong with that?