
Personality Disorders Support Group
Personality disorders form a class of mental disorders that are characterized by long-lasting rigid patterns of thought and behaviour. Personality disorders are seen by the American Psychiatric Association as an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly from the expectations of the culture of the individual who exhibits it.

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I know identity issues are a problem with Borderline Personality Disorder, such as not knowing who you are or where your place is, but I'm wondering...do any of you ever question your sexual orientation? Sometimes, I get it in my head that I am either gay or bisexual, and the more I obsess about it, the more I believe it. The more I believe it, the more alone and confused I feel...confused as to how I'm going to know for sure. A social worker in the hospital, who was a bitch, by the way, told me this was all in my head...that I am neither gay nor bisexual. How did she know? I have no clue. I just think she hated me, but that's a different story.
So do any of you struggle with this? If so, what are your thoughts on the matter? Do you think it's just a result of being Borderline, or that it could possibly be true?
So do any of you struggle with this? If so, what are your thoughts on the matter? Do you think it's just a result of being Borderline, or that it could possibly be true?
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
in college i pursued my roommate who was bi (but insane- BD- would sleep for days and then bonk her boyfriend for days after that and still get better grades than me) and we had a huge encounter but kind of ignored it after that. Then I fell in love with another girl but she just used me for the attention I gave her. Mostly I've dated guys but for the most part I find them to be blathering idiots- charming at times, but generally gross (no offense boys). I treat them like brothers. But I'll do one if the mood strikes me and I usually have to be drunk. I want desperately to be with a girl and I think I idealize it too much; like if it happened I think I'd be freaked out. For the most part I'm asexual but I give off huge sexual vibes. I dunno I'm with you- confused... :-P
was diagnosed with A personality disorder but have yet to find a legit psychiatrist...
uncertainty about sexual orientation is a red flag for BPD, though.
I'd say the only way for us to find out is to JUST DO IT, to steal Nike's stupid slogan. go for it chica you'll never know and there's no use losing sleep ;-)
you remind me of a da vinci muse
don't mind me
Most BPDs are hopeless romantics, and I fall into that category. I'm not as gutterminded as most people I know. Last night someone mentioned food in a package, and I said "I eat packages." They started laughing really hard and I realized how that must have sounded coming from a gay guy, so I said, "I was thinking UPS..."
But when I think of having a relationship, I think of a serious monogamous committment, and that's a very BPD trait. I've never really been able to watch guys (or girls) and say "I'd do him" or "I'd bang her" unless it was a blatant joke regarding the fact that I'd never be that kind of person.
We're uncertain about sexuality because we're uncertain about just about everything. We could be wrong, it may be a terrible decision. I thought I was this but it turned out I was the complete opposite...oh, wait, no I was this all along...or maybe...I DON'T FREAKING KNOW, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME???
So that's my personal insight on BPD relationships. I don't know if others here would agree with me, but that's what I think.
and i agree about the hopeless romantic thing too. i may say "i'd do him/her" but like I said if it came down to it i'd blush and renig.
my advice is to just maybe recognize the feelings you have, let them flow through you; don't embrace or reject them. they'll pass on their own and if they don't maybe you should explore them, but only if you're a lone ranger. if you're attached you could defintely hurt the person you're with- believe me. and that will lead to all sorts of feelings of emptiness and worthlessness :-P
i like to step back sometimes when i'm being hard on myself and just remind myself that life is just way too short to be poring over such trivialties; just live! what happens happens and if you make a mistake, LEARN FROM IT. i learned the HARD way...
What I am saying is that maybe you are just trying to assure yourself that you 'exist' So maybe instead of using sexual orientation you could try art, theatre, dance, sports, being a good sibling, writing, making A's in school, etc. Just a positive identity that will make you feel good about who you are and not confused about yourself.
I hope that made sense, haha. Sorry if that was all nonsense.
Tell me, JilL, do you have low self esteem? I am taking it you do. That will also contribute greatly to confused self image...I think so anyway..I'm wondering if I am BPD cos yeah I think that and identity issues are interlinked.
If you ever want to talk more about this feel free to message me, cos I relate quite a lot to what you wrote. :)
I was married...yes, married. We were together for a little over three years when he left, and then, our divorce became final back in February. It was hell being married, and hell being left and divorced. While we were married, I never felt that he loved me or gave me the affection and attention I needed to be content. He wasn't a very affectionate person, I guess, but before we married, I never would have guessed it. We fought all the time, usually over him seeming to love the television more than me. Once he finally left, I felt it just proved that I had become someone unloveable. I mean, once he loved me, but then, shit happened and he didn't love me enough to help me work on our issues. I wasn't that important, obviously. I was rejected, and as a borderline, it's one of our worst fears. I practically begged him to go to counseling with me, and I really tried to talk to him daily to see how his day had been and so forth, but it wasn't enough...I wasn't enough, and he wasn't enough. We were doomed from the very start, I now know. But still, I feel rejected and that I am someone unloveable, and those are miserable feelings to have.
Anyway, I dunno. Maybe things can change, but I don't seem much hope when I try to look ahead to the future. For the most part, I avoid looking ahead because it's so damn depressing. I try to focus on this very momemnt...the here and now. It's the best I can do at this point.
I have been married (in a strait relationship) for over 20 years. I have also had relationships along the way with women, some of whom my husband has also slept with... I know it sounds strange, but it really wasn't at the time. It felt normal and sweet and I am still friends with the woman who my husband and I had a relationship with for a year.
People are people.
They are all lovable.
Physical love can be shared in a lot of ways.
I wouldn't worry about it or obsess over it, just let yourself love and follow your heart.