except for the fact that u were a teacher and i worked in healthcare, our stories are identical. I know exactly how u feel. I cant offer any magical advice, but I can be a friend! :-)

Lost career of 20 yrs but fiddled dee we can make new world

I was down last night when I wrote this. If I were back in my miserable old job, I would be asking for hell as a preference again.
I loved the kids/parents/teaching, but as I said the other teachers were the biggest bullies I have ever seen. I have never been "normal" I cry out for bullies. I'm in a 12yrs. interracial marriage, very liberal in southern USA,a Christian, and hate to conform- major bully magnet.
I have good memories from teaching. I taught a transfer student phonemic awareness/phonics/how to read in the 6 months he was with me. He had been in school for four years before this and his teachers hadn't taught him anything. He was "allergic" to work. I always had a way of getting work out of them in a fun way. That is why my students/parents loved me also. I taught a 5th grade girl how to count money in a few weeks. She was a sponge.
I want to be a writer. I know that sounds strange considering my many grammar mistakes-etc., but I have a creative mind. I'll let a grammar person like my husband work out the kinks. I have written one book, but I don't know what to do from here. I have a novel I am working on that is trapped in my head at the moment and I write poetry. Many people say they want a copy of my book when it is published. I dedicated it to my dad, but I am now going to include all of you guys that have kept me from driving off one of our beautiful mountains here in the Appalachian Mountians.
I hope I sleep tonight. No sleep last night or today. It is 11:30, I am tired but my body won't allow it.

I can indentify personally with everything you said - I hope we can become friends on here, maybe we can be of support to each other. Hope you sleep well and have sweet dreams! Debbie

You know I can really relate to your story. I miss my job I had in higher education. I loved the faculty and students, but the administration was horrible. I was hired as a secretary and everyone left. (advisors, program mangers and dean) I have a tendency of making the job out better than it was. I loved my work, but not the department. I am back in school and maybe someday I will go back to academia. We don't know what the future has in store for us.

Take care,

I forgot to say, after everyone left I was promoted. I was doing the job for three and was totally taken advantage. Something I learned, becareful what you wish for...

I was reading "Choices" by Melodie Beatty. One of the stories had to do with a guy whos' wife had thrown him out. He kept waiting and waiting for the day that she would call him and tell him to come home. That day finally came, she called and he went. Things just didn't seem right. His thought, "I just wish things could be like they were before this happened. It just can't be." That was one of the most profound things I have every read.

Tobi, I can sooooo relate; pretty much to you and everyone who's replied to you as well in some sense or another. I've been out of work - where I was the Type A go-getter who could work circles around my peers - since May. I've always been that way, and I've always figured out a way (not consciously) to sabotage my way out of every job. I don't wish I was back there, but I do wish the novel in my head could be brought to fruition. I'm waiting patiently for it. I look forward to getting to know y'all (guess who ELSE is from the deep south lol) in here - I need all the friends I can avoid alienating!!

Thanks to everyone for their comments. I found them all helpful! I do realize deep down that I don't want my old life back. I miss my students and parents, but as I said I live in a small town so I run into them on occasion. I now realize this is an opportunity to do some of the things I have wanted to do for years. I just need to keep reminding myself that I can begin a new life that will give me comfort.
I still have that desire to teach. I have several former parents asking for me to tutor their children. I was able to aide these children in their academic growth. I may consider this at some point.

Think private tutoring may be a good idea. I taught primary school for a year and hated every minute (totally relate to your statement out bullying). I have been teaching piano, clarinet, ....well lots of stuff.. English, swimming, recorders....now Reiki to adults...
I absolutely love it. But I have respect. I get to do a very good joy MY way, not the curriculum's way. I get to teach each child HOW they can take in the info. It is a joy (and 20 per hour with few overheads). Is pocket money over the year that pays for the car and xmas. So I have to do a non-teaching admin job for the mortgage, bills, food side of life. That's ok, but not stimulating.

And yeah, head's a shed most of the time. Can still do it!!!