I'm having thoughts of suicide again. I can't handle feeling so low and confused all the time. I don't understand whats wrong with me and I can't go on living this way. BPD is ruining my life, and I feel so out of control. I don't know what to do. Should I contact my psychiatrist? What would I even say? She wouldn't care anyway, she would just tell me I'm coping fine. I keep crying all the time, which is unusual for me, I usually don't cry much, most of the time I CAN'T cry, but lately I just can't stop crying and I don't know why. My emotions and thoughts are all over the place. I've been taken off of all medication, just a week ago, maybe thats why I'm feeling like this? I don't know, but I know I'm going to end up taking my own life, because I'm so afraid of myself.
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