I blow up on my boyfriend so much that he has finally had it with me. After this last fight when I showed up @ his house screaming with a baseball bat and crying, he said one more fight and we are over. He loves me so much and knows I have been diagnosed with BPD and Bipolar disorder, that is why he is so patient with me, and he has even said that if he ever has to leave me, it is not b/c he wants to, but because he has to for his own health, and its a lose lose for him, b/c he loves me so much that leaving me would destroy him, but staying in a relationship with my abuse would too. I just got put on the medication Lamictal for my bipolar dis. 2 days ago, and he said that he wants to wait to see if the medicine helps me to not be so explosive, but I am so scared that it won't work, that I will start a fight over nothing all over again, and lose the love of my life, the best thing that has EVER happened to me. He is so loving, so faithful, so responsible. He makes me want to be a better person, and all Ido is tear him down, especially b/c I get so jealous about his job working as a bartender at a night club, but I know in my heart he would never cheat, but that doesnt stop me. I have such a strong fear of abandonment that it is painful. Please help. What should I do?
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