Well it's been an interesting week for me. I had a low moment this past Saturday and overdosed on my Risperdone medication. I drove to my parents house and they made me go to the emergency room. I ended up in ICU because they were afraid my heart was going to stop...I don't remember anything about being in the hospital except for waking up and finding out that the police were going to take me to a psychiatric facility. I was in for 5 days and was released this afternoon. I feel ok, but very disappointed that my husband through out all of my beer. I wanted to drink tonight to lower my stress levels and I just can't do it because he doesn't want me to. My therapist thinks I should join AA and work on being sober. That scares me to give up my drinking and pills. I don't know how to handle my stress otherwise and don't know how tough this is going to be on me. I don't know anything different and I lack appropriate coping skills to handle things. What if everything becomes too much to bear again and I relapse back into my overdosing. I can't keep going to the hospital every other month to have things worked on. It's too expensive and it will cause me to lose my job. How does everyone on here handle stress without medicating themselves with beer and pills? I'm at a loss and don't' know that I want to agree to be sober for the rest of my life. That seems like too big of a commitment for me to handle right now. All I want is a six pack and a quiet evening at home. Nothing more than that and everyone is against me doing everything I feel I need to survive my borderline personality tendencies. So frustrated. Any advice is welcome.
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