I am sorry to bother you, but I am really needing help finding information. I started a relationship with a man who has stated later to me that he has BPD. He has many of the symptoms I read about, created a beautiful unrealistic romantic world for us and just as quickly abandoned it when I became pregnant. I knew very little about BPD, but he gave me a book on it. He has never gotten help for it and has many of the symptoms, he used to binge drink, still binge eats and purges, fights suicide ever other day, he says, is up and down in his feelings, wants and desires. He acted very compassionate towards me during our relationship, and that he was here to help me in anyway possible, although he has found my weakness, our child, and uses it to cause the most damage possible. He didn't want the pregnancy or the child, but now that she is here, he has again, created an unrealistic romanticizing world in her. I wish that were all I could say, but there is more... He revealed to me, that he sexual molested his little sister when she was just 4 years old, he was 12. He had sisters closer to his age, but chose the youngest most vulnerable. He never got caught, so I am lead to believe, and never got any treatment for it. He now wants a lot of "alone" time with her. She is only six months old now, but it is terrifying me as a mother. Before he began his request, he had 7 days a week access to her, even though we are no longer in a relationship (since I was 3 months pregnant). A friend of mine who was molested as a child, said to never let the door be closed when they are in a room together. At first, I left her with him due to "our" counselors advice (she didn't know about the sexual molestation past) and I came to pick her up to a locked door, which has never been locked before. At that point, he could have alone time with her while I was in the home, he began wanting to close the door to them. I refused. He blew up. After discussing this with my daughter's pediatrician with both of us there, she said the problem could be solved by keeping the doors open, and that no judge would ever allow him to be behind a "closed" door with her. The pediatrician told my child's father this first hand. It was like, to him, the information wasn't even said. He can't see the forest for the trees. He can't realize that seven days a week with a child is getting to be a father to the child. He can't realize that alone time doesn't have to be behind a locked door. He says he doesn't want to have to spend time with me as well, that makes sense since we are not together, but then he wants to spend two hours with us together after he's had his alone time, and he wants daily access with me there as well. At times, he begins to act romantically interested in me again, which has become sickening to me (although I do not try to offend him with rejection, I just avoid any situations). It is very difficult dealing with someone that is very unstable and inconsistent. Not to mention his angry out bust that I told him I refused to subject our child to, and myself. I would like to know if there is any correlation between BPD and some sex offenders. Every article I look for on BPD relates on how they were the victim, not the offender. Every adolescent sex offender article I read, dictates on how well they do with help, not how they are by 46, never married, unable to live in the same place for more than 3 years, without help. I am so sorry this is so long. I would appreciate any information you have. As a single mother, it has been a nightmare, and truly scary.
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