does anyone ever get so pissed off about something/one but you cant bring it up for certain reasons so you spend days/weeks making daydreaming and making up conversations where you scream at them and feel like beating the shit ouuta them? i get this all the time and sometimes i,m not sure whther or not ive actualy done it. i always feel alone and always make up converesatins in my head so i can feel like im talking to someone bout how i feel, cos i cant talk to anyone in reality like family face to face. even when someone does ask me how oif eel i either lie and say im ok or i get so lightheaded i cant think and my head just feels like its spinning. i tend to lie LOADS to. i know i push people away =, es[pecialy my mum whos worried about me but i just cant tell her the truth cos i think that shjel laugh or think m doing it for attention or think im overreacting. even now as im trying to find words to exoplain how i feel im feeling a bit lightheaded and cant think. its whenevre i concentrate or justthink about something. i cant read or anything cos i sometimes cant focus on the weords or take anything in (wich dont help cos i got my SATs coming up next week. ive felt better lately cos been taking this vitamins to control hormones i thought it was working but as always all this shit is coming back up again and im worried il do something stupid. im SOOOO temopted to yell atone of my friends so badly, im daydreaming a lot abouit it and i think that when i see things a certain way bout my friend then i will do it and then friends at school will probs take her siode asndf il run out of school again and theni will feel suicidal again and i hate that cos i just feel so dead when that happens
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