tracy...WOW!!!....well....i actually went through a divorce 5 years ago...i am Borderline...and am finding out that i have been dealing with the symptoms of it for many years....pretty much through my entire marriage...however it wasn't until just recently i was diagnosed...

anyway...i ended up in the hospital for 6 weeks starting the day after we filed for divorce...i felt as if my world had been turned upside down and there was no getting better...i wanted to die....

now 5 yrs later and 2 more hospitalizations since the first one...the most recent was in sept this year...

we have 3 children...they are all i have and the only reason i am here today...they are my life...they also live with their dad 2 hours away...when we first divorced they lived with me...he actually got custody because of financial reasons...i, however, was ALWAYS so afraid he would bring into play the hospitalizations...so far he has not...which i was always thankful for...but things are not going well at all and i really think we need to re-visit our parenting plan which means another trip to the court mediators and then a hearing with the judge afterwards....he has re-married...with the person he was caught having an affair with which was what ended our marriage...she is the one who wears the pants in that relationship...which i could care less about except for the fact that our children live with them...which in turn affects communication and visitation with them...this is why we need to go back to court...what i fear the most this time is he will bring this all up if i take him back...he already told me if i take him back to court again he will bring it all up...and then i'll probably lose what visitation time i have with my children alltogether...i know if i lost the time i have with my children i would not make it....

i'm sorry that i can't really give any ideas with this...i can only share the fearful feelings about this...

I really hope things go well for you. I know that I am scared to death. I am not a bad mother nor am I crazy, but he's going to try and play this up. I am the one financially stable and I hope that is enough to hold up. Im petrified!

If your seeking treatment and are following your doctors orders and stuff you can offer into evidance and even have the doctor speak in court about your ability to play a motherly role in your childrens lives. They can not take your children away unless they prove you unfit and in order to do that you would have to be neglectful of your self as well as them. Cross your T's and dot your I's and follow the docs orders... If need be seek council for the hearings so that you have a sane rational voice in court... Something I would surely have to do. That is something that will be very important... that your sane and rational and clear headed and compromising and flexable... all things that us BPD sufferers have trouble with.

I seriously hope I never have to face this with my Daughter. My son is now old enough I dont think I have to worry... he is 14 but my daughter is mearly 3.... thats a life time.

My hugs and thoughts are with you

Thank you so much buggy. My hubby and I are trying to work this out, but today he went to a lawyer. He said he's not getting a case, just wants to know his options at this point.

I hope and pray we do not divorce. I have been talking alot with my pdoc and tdoc. I am doing DBT therapy one on one with the tdoc and then group dbt in January. I have a wonderful new career job starting mid december and my life is really on track. I just know however they are going to throw this up in my face. UGH.