man...bpd is gonna KILL me. i hate it so fucking much. i'm sure this is a redundant post, as i've seen the posts about how others HATE their bpd. it's true. no one wants to help you, as you (and i mean me) are soooo difficult to treat/deal with. i'm suprised i'm still married after 9 years. course, hubby just smokes a lot of dope, so nothin phases him. i get so tired of being labled...'attention seeking, manipulative, etc etc'. you all know the drill. as if i somehow *chose* this. if i could be someone else, if i could be different, i would in a heartbeat. and no one will even see me (pdocs) cuz i always end up OD'in on the meds they give me....sigh. maybe if i had competent therapy, friends, support etc, i wouldn't be tryin to kill myself on a daily basis. i am the only one who can save me, and that thought sends me sprialing down down down. if that is the case, i really am SCREWED. i don't know why i'm even posting this, as i'm just one voice of a million. don't expect anyone to respond. afterall, expecting anything from anyone just kicks my bpd into overdrive. life sucks! bpd sucks! so there!
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