I have BPD. I know it has grow into a monster inside of me. I contain it and don't take it out on anyone but I am absolutely insane inside myself. My doctor doesn't listen to me and my therapist doesn't really know cus I cover up things to make myself seem okay. I need help. I need it really bad. I can't handle it anymore. I'm so unhappy but I've just been putting on this front to make everyone else happy instead of worrying about myself. I think about how much easier it would be to have been an orphan. To have never known anyone who loved me so I wouldn't be able to disappoint anyone but myself. No one takes me seriously cus they just think I'm crazy. I have responsibilities so I just keep putting this off. I finally just got a job after being unemployed for about 2 months or longer. I'm enrolled in college and take 4 classes. I just do not know wat the hell to do anymore. I wanna give up but last time I bought this up my mom told me I sounded ridiculous. I honestly think I should be housed in a psychiatric hospital. Wat should I do? Has anyone with BPD been housed in an insane asylum or watever its called before? And if so, did it help you?
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