i quit my job and i don't want a new one. my brother who is my roommate is moving out next week. i don't want to live here anymore. i don't want to find a new roommate but i don't want to live alone. my dad keeps offering to let me move in with him and mom but my mom has hurt me so much i can't even look at her. i've been staying up all night and sleeping for only 4 or 5 hours in the afternoon. i feel sick and drained of energy all the time. everything i do to help myself makes me worse. i don't know what to do. i don't know where to go. i don't trust anyone. i hide from everyone. i don't know what to do with my life. i don't know what to do in the next year. i don't know what to do next month. i don't know how to deal with tommorow. i don't know how to make it through the next hour. i'm not scared of hurting myself, i just feel like my body and my will are going to give up. one day i just won't be able to get out of bed and i'll just lay there until i die of dehydration. i sought help over a year ago and all the counselling and 12 different meds i've been on have made me so much worse. i wish i had never tried. the lesson life has taught me in the last year is to never seek help from anyone.
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