It's been almost two years since disclosure. I'm still thinking about it a LOT. Now that my kiddo has started school again and I sit at the bus stop every afternoon, I have to see the freaking ex-babysitter and her pedophile boyfriend bringing her kids home from their school. I believe there are a lot of grey areas when it comes to a matter of decisions and topics. This situation, however, is so clear to me...I have to tell what happened. 19 mothers recommended this ex-babysitter in a FB Mamas group in my town. My child is the first to disclose to police what happened. The babysitter and her boyfriend are free to roam around our town, totally undected. Meanwhile, I KNOW there are other children that POS has hurt. The things he did to my child were carefully planned and predatory.
What has held me back is that I know it is my child's story to tell one day. I don't want my child to hate me later in life, saying "Why did you OUT me??!" But I also feel like there are other children at risk, and I need my child to know what a super hero he/she is for speaking up so quickly, and for going to police at the ripe old age of 4.
So I've decided to post what happened, in a generic-ish way, so that I do not give away our family's identity. I'm not even going to say the babysitter's name or her perv boyfriend's name. I am just going to give enough details so that any other parent who is in that FB Mamas group will recognize if their child was in this woman's care, and will recognize if their own child has tried to come forward about abuse at their house.
In the first year after disclosure, I lost myself in pity and guilt and sorrow and helplessness. But my fire has come back. I want them to legally pay for what they did to my poor innocent child, and I want my child to see that I'm not going to sit around and let them pass us every day while I wait at the bus stop, pretending they are on the phone and laughing and happy as can be. They are some good actors, I tell ya. To the dad who has recently posted on here: Sending you hugs. I also envision doing horrible and gruesome things to these two disgusting people....but my child has been through one trauma already that was undeserved. Having me go to prison would only bring on another undeserved trauma. Ya know?
I'd like to post what I'm going to publish on the FB mamas page, but just in the teeny tiny chance those monsters check in this site, I'd like to keep it private until afterward.
Hugs to all of you
Today was the pilimanary hearing. The perpetrator was finally arained today after 6 months of waiting. During this hearing they played me daughters interview in court. I was unaware that it would be played. So when I heard it today it was like ripping a band off super fast. I felt like all that I have worked for over the past 6 months in therapy was today exposed all over again. I felt like the...
Hi, I'm new to the group, but not new to what brings us here -- my daughter disclosed a couple of years ago that her father (my ex-husband) had sexually abused her. I'm proud of how I've dealt with it. I've put my children first and protected them at all costs. The necessary authorities were involved and my ex now only has supervised visitation. My children are all in therapy and they ALWAYS come...