my daughter is also ADD. so far we have not had a run in with the teachers on this. I am sure their are kids who are adhd and kids that are add, that the teacher has dealt with however all kids respond differenytly to things around them, my daughter does not like certian noises and cannot focus when dealingwith that, she cannot be in a situtation where there is not a lot of structire or she has issues, she can also over focus on something and getting her to do her work can be a hard, like for an example., if someone is doing something on the other side of the classroom she can get so focused on that she cannot get focused on her work, so she has to be a seating arrangemebt that does really allow her full view of the class, I would set up a metting with the teacher and the principal and school counselor and see what you all can do to help your daughter and maybe the teacher willback off. does your daughter have a 504 plan or an IEP in place? good luck

Well, the school has told me that for an IEP the child has to be 2-2.5 years behind in their subjects, my daughter is only 1-1.5 years behind so there is nothing they can do..so i just watch her struggle and tell me she's not understanding but then the teacher says she's not trying hard enough...

your daughter should qualify for a 504 plan, that is a medical/emotinal IEP. they can be above average and right on target and still get one if they have Docter dx. them with a disability that can stand in the way of their school day.the school does not need to test her or anything. just get a docter's letter with your dughters dx. on it, if the docter has any suggestions on what may help he can put those in/ make a copy,request a meeting with the school and reqiest a 504 plan, do not let them tell you it is to late in the school year. be polite but let them know you want this done. keep on top of them, keep a record of phone calls and make copies os emails and letters, go above their heads. my daughter has a para help her stay organized and make sure she is staying on task and getting things turned in. they help her with her locker if she needs it, and they also pull her out if she is having trouble focusing to take test. her homework load is lighter and her grades are up. she has always made low grades till this year. there are certian things too that the teachers can do to help her, let me know if you need anything to help you get started.

You are in Canada, correct. So, perhaps you do not have the same rules that are working for others with regard to instituting the 504 & IEP.

As far as teacher frustration!! I think I could already write a book, and my only son is only in first grade!! Until Nov. 1st, my son got "GOOD" notes each day and the best (4) behavior ratings. His doctor and I were praising him for his successes. Then, my son's teacher and staff at his school decided (overnight) he was doing awful, that his medication wasn't working, and he wasn't working up to his potential because his ADHD was holding him back. I am glad to know that they think he has untapped potential, BUT, as you said, and my son's doctor said, since when did teaching certificates come with MD licenses???? They made their intervention decision, right after I was laid-off from my job and lost our health insurance. So, now I am going to the doctor every 2 weeks for $140 a pop, and trying this med. and that med. at this dose and that dose, in combo. with this other drug, etc., etc. (6 trial pills cost over $13 the other day. ) And, THEY have never seen him off his medication - how can they say it is NOT working, when they have never seen how he is without it! I was so tempted to send him into school on nothing to let them see to what degree they did NOT know what they were talking about - but, that only would have harmed my son.
What the schools & lazy teachers everywhere want is easy, perfect little push-button children. It is a rare and treasured teacher that will work with the square peg/difficult children and not jerk the parents into school demanding a quick fix ("The medication isn't working! FIX HIM!!"). They expect that if we could only find the correct drug cocktail, our children would turn into the little, never-disruptional, always-on-task robots that they desire to numbingly teach through there horribly long (here 6 hours - not counting lunch, and planning breaks) day, for approximately 180 days a year with full pay and benefits. Apologies to the "diamonds in the rough," but around here, teachers are always whining like martyrs and threatening to strike for higher wages and benefits, when everyone around them is being laid-off from 8 hour a day, 260 day a year jobs.
And, I can never even find my son's teacher to talk to her. No returning calls, emails, and she is never there one moment after the end of the school day. (Conferences are during school hours, too.) Most of the school staff is out of the building before the school busses have pulled out with the children! My son's doctor was going to try to contact his teacher, since I failed in my attempts. I thanked him & wished him the best of luck! That was about 2 weeks ago now - he was going to call me after he talked to her. I guess his luck is running as good as mine!

Sorry for the rant - hit a VERY sore spot, indeed!

I have struggled with my son's school teachers year after year for the last 8 years and with the daycare caregivers before that. Unless a person has a child with ADD or ADHD they never seem to understand him and I find that very few caregivers and teachers ever do understand. My son has ADHD and has been a handful from the start. I struggle with understanding him myself sometimes but its really upsetting to have a teacher or principle or soccer coach tell you that your son will never get it, is beyond help, etc. My son is incredibly smart, his grades are always high A's and his math level has always been at least 2 grades ahead. Its the social aspect he struggles with. He was not built to sit very still and quiet in a classroom for 7 hours a day learning how to write a book report. He is highly self-motivated when it comes to his grades and learning the subjects he likes, but you put him in art where he struggles to draw a circle or have a creative thought and he acts out, gets silly and distracts others. And then when he is confronted by the teacher who can't possibly understand why he can't sit still in her class he explodes, talks back etc.

This was the case year after year. Doctor after Doctor, medication after medication and counselor after counselor. I finally had enough last year and took him out of the public school system and am now homeschooling him. its probably the best thing that has ever happened for him although I struggle sometimes with my own patience we are doing fairly well. He is able to do the work at his own pace, he doesn't have the distraction of the other kids or peer pressure to act up since he's got that reputation now. Our state even pays for all of the books and online curriculum and sent him a computer and all of the supplies for 7th grade. He even gets to do art as part of his curriculum and he usually slaps some paint on a paper or whips it together just to get through it but occasionally i'm able to sneak in an understanding of a particular concept. I highly recommend it if you have the ability and time and are looking for an alternative solution.

I tried to get the schools to understand ADHD, bought books for the teachers and principles to read to help them understand how his brain works what types of approaches would work best for a child like mine, etc. There were only 2 teachers out of the who really tried to work with him, tried to understand and really did a great job with him. All of the others just sent him to the office right away and eventually to ISS or in a couple of cases to the alternative schools for highly disruptive kids (those who usually bring guns, drugs, etc to school or are beating up other kids and threatening teachers). Its a real struggle to find a good teacher who can deal with ADD or ADHD in a public school. They aren't paid enough, have too many other kids to deal with to focus so much time and energy on your child. I have even heard teachers tell me that its not fair to the other kids how much attention my son would get.

Its a very hard situation to be in as a parent. Hang in there and keep trying to get the teachers to understand, have as many meetings as you can. Change your tactics often and don't forget the rewards and most importantly take care of yourself emotionally because in the end our kids need our support most of all.

thank you everyone for your time...i am requesting a meeting with her teacher on Monday and even concidering switching her to a new school.

Let me tell you I can feel your pain like it was my own. I got really really lucky at the beginning of 4th grade for my son. We lived in a small town, everyone knew everyone. I hated it but the school was good for the kids. Anyway, at the beginning of 4th grade I was lucky enough to meet a "special ed" teacher who saw all the things I had been telling people for years. She suggested that we go to our dr. and ask to have him tested for ADHD. So off I went. My dr. sent paperwork to me and also to the teacher. We both were to fill it out on our own then mail it back to the dr. We did that. The dr. called me and told me to bring my son in. When we got there the dr. said it was like the teacher and I had sat in the same room next to each other and filled out the paperwork. My son had SEVERE ADHD. So we started on Concerta. He hated it and was tired all the time. I didn't want him to be a zombie so we went back. Changed his meds to Stretera. It worked pretty well. He was a little tired but not to bad. Then we started working with the spec. ed teacher. We got plan together on how to handle him at school, got him "a safe place" at school to go vent if he needed to, put in his IEP plan that he should be allowed to get up and get a drink more often, sharpen his pencil even if it didn't need it and so and so on. The special ed teacher was fantastic. The problems were with his "regular" teachers. The special ed teacher and myself would sit and make plans for my son to be able to function well in his "normanl" classes but the teachers wouldn't follow them. All they wanted to do was complain about his behavior or that "he isn't working at his full potential" I can't tell you how many hours I would take off from work to listen to these people tell me all the things my child was doing wrong. Then while the spec ed teacher and I were trying to tell them "follow the plan" and you won't have all these problems. It was a complete nightmare for years and years. It's like the teachers don't care or they don't want to make the time to help they just want to try and be dr.s and tell you all the things that are wrong. If it weren't for the special ed teacher I would have never survived. She was always fantastic. Between the 2 of us we worked really hard with him. Helped him to manage his ADHD and keep it under control. She is still one of my best friends and her and my son are very very close. The best advise I can give you is keep talking and demanding that someone hear you and works with you. Check out different schools, drop in without setting up an appointment and ask if they have someone who has worked with ADD kids. Someone who knows how to help them in their school work. Thats what I did. School was never easy for him and I absolutely hated when the new year was gonna start because I knew it meant starting over again with a whole new group of teachers. I was lucky though that his spec. ed teacher was able to be with him all through the 8th grade. Then high school came and I felt like I was back at square one. My son and I would set up the plans with the schools, no one ever followed them. One huge arguement after another. Most of the staff at the high schools hated to see me walk through the doors. They knew someone was in for an ear full. My son now is attending Job Corp. He is studing to finish his high school dipolma and then training for his career in life. I know it sounds like I gave up with the schools but I didn't. I found a way for him to advance himself and become an independent person. The schools didn't care about anything but turning in his homework. I was so sick of watching him get down on himself and tell me how stupid he was. The schools never got to know him. The teachers that did take the time to get to know him and how he learned absolutly loved having him in their classes. Every year when they do those stupid tests to see what level all these kids are he always did them in 2 different ways. Some were read the questions and answer them some were have the questions read to him and then answer them. When he read them on his own and answered them he did really crappy. Always scored several grades below what he really was. If the questins were read to him he scored at 3 grade levels above where he was. His mind goes so fast all the time that he can't just sit and read. His brain doesn't allow him to comprehend what he's read and then get it to the paper. If teachers were lecturing and all he had to do was listen he aced everything. The really funny thing was that while the teachers lectured he would draw and doodle and it would seem he wasn't paying attention at all but then when called upon or took a test he would always know the answers. With ADD and ADHD every noise or happening is a huge distraction. But chances are your daughter is hearing and learning it just not able to get it back to the paper. Her teachers need to make accomodations for her. It doesn't mean she isn't smart, she just learns way different than the rest. Just because their are other children with ADD in the class doesn't mean they are all the same. No two children with or without ADD are the same and they all still learn different. Keep lookin for that one teacher. They are there somewhere waiting for you and your daughter. My son and I are so close now, he knows that I'm always there for him good or bad. I will stand beside him 100% as long as he is in the right. Life is always going to be hard for him, but that one teacher and I have given him the tools he needs to survive and accell. Job Corp has the same rountine every day, that is the biggest thing my son always needed. The same rountine day after day. Changing it always seemed to throw him into a panic. You hang in there. Structure and rountine are huge keys to helping them deal with the ADD.

With the prevalence and perceived overdiagnosis ADHD with children today, I am surprised and saddened to hear that so many other parents have faced the roadblocks and frustration with teachers and school staffs that I have! I really think that most teachers just do not want to have to extend the necessary extra amount of energy that it may take to teach our children. Have they added a confidential clause in their union contracts that they are only required to teach "perfect, well-behaved" children? I would not actually doubt it, because that is how they act. Like when they tell parents that there is a problem, we are expected to say, "Oh, I am so sorry!! I forgot to hit the "Behave Perfectly" button again this morning, before he got on the school bus!" "My apologies, I won't let it happen again. It must have been so hard for YOU today," Mr./Mrs. So&So. I swear, if I ever find a good, helpful and understanding teacher for my son, I will be tempted to leave him in that teacher's class for the rest of his school days!!

Boy do all these stories bring back a flood of emotions for me. Although my son is now grown (39 yrs old) he still can't hold a job, maintain a relationship and so on. He is now living with my husband and I and trying to raise his little girl.
My son scored upper 2nd and lower 3rd grade levels in the 1st grade. Everyone in the family would tell me "...I don't know why you have such a problem with him, he's alright for me....". We had him on Ritalin for a while, but it was expensive and my husband kept fighting me on having him on medication. His first grade teacher (yeah, here we go with the teachers again)would not so much as fill out the questionnaire for the doctor. His teacher (who had no children of her own) insisted his only problem was disciplinary. His next treacher, was a saint. She knew all to well when he had his med. I forget why I went to the school one day, but his teacher said "(your son)didn't have his med this morning did he? I knew the minute he came thru the door."
Back in those days there was no difference btween Add and ADHD. It was all the same. Ritalin and cylert were the only meds. They told you to limit sugar, nothing with any artificial coloring or flavoring. That kind of cuts out a lot. I am hoping to find out how to deal with adult ADD now.
I also wonder if the med they had me on when I was pregnant had anything to do with my sons prob. I was a military wife at the time and dealing with a lot. My blood pressure went to 125/110 and they put me on phenobarbital. That's some heavy duty stuff when your preg. considering they don't want you to take so much as an aspirin. I hope there are some answers for all of us and hoping answers come for you before your child is 39 and still dealing.

Hi Julie,

I just wanted to add that I'm in Canada too, and while I'm not sure if the same rules apply in every school board, I know in ours, they don't recognize ADD/ADHD as an actual exceptionality, but they are still REQUIRED to provide an IEP for ANY student that is struggling in the classroom for ANY reason. And that's regardless of how far behind or not behind they are. I only learned that through a public meeting on IEP's through our school board.

So if your teachers still say she doesn't qualify, I would recommend speaking to someone from the board. Our board has regular information sessions on IEP's and our children's rights. Right on the front page of my son's IEP, it states that he is underachieving, which qualifies him for an IEP. And he is able to do grade level work - it's just that the amount of work he's able to produce is a grade behind in terms of expectations.

Good luck to you - I've had my share of misunderstandings and run-ins with teachers too, and it really is difficult sometimes for them to be on the same page.

GO with your gut!!! Fight this all the way.YOU are her voice,her advocate.Go back to the school and tell them you want that meeting now or you will go to the hire ups.Take charge