
Parents of Children with ADHD Support Group
This community is designed as an open forum where the parents and guardians of children with ADHD (Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder) can give and receive support, as well as discuss ideas, techniques, concerns, surprises, and challenges they may face with their children.

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My daughter's teacher was telling me that my daughter is not applying herself as well as she could be and that she knows she is capable of much more... explained to the teacher yesterday that the doc is trying my D on Conerta instead of Biphentin so he can up the dose and MRS. Teacher said "well i have kids in the class much worse then your daughter...the are up and down, can't concentrate at all.. blah blah blah" she then procedes to tell me she doesn't see my D as ADHD..My daughter is NOT ADHD, she HAS ADD.( not a hyper bone in her body!) When does teaching grade 5 give teachers the ability to also be a doctor? I am so frustrated...I think schools need to get the teachers together and have a meeting on ADD and ADHD and what it is really all about!
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As far as teacher frustration!! I think I could already write a book, and my only son is only in first grade!! Until Nov. 1st, my son got "GOOD" notes each day and the best (4) behavior ratings. His doctor and I were praising him for his successes. Then, my son's teacher and staff at his school decided (overnight) he was doing awful, that his medication wasn't working, and he wasn't working up to his potential because his ADHD was holding him back. I am glad to know that they think he has untapped potential, BUT, as you said, and my son's doctor said, since when did teaching certificates come with MD licenses???? They made their intervention decision, right after I was laid-off from my job and lost our health insurance. So, now I am going to the doctor every 2 weeks for $140 a pop, and trying this med. and that med. at this dose and that dose, in combo. with this other drug, etc., etc. (6 trial pills cost over $13 the other day. ) And, THEY have never seen him off his medication - how can they say it is NOT working, when they have never seen how he is without it! I was so tempted to send him into school on nothing to let them see to what degree they did NOT know what they were talking about - but, that only would have harmed my son.
What the schools & lazy teachers everywhere want is easy, perfect little push-button children. It is a rare and treasured teacher that will work with the square peg/difficult children and not jerk the parents into school demanding a quick fix ("The medication isn't working! FIX HIM!!"). They expect that if we could only find the correct drug cocktail, our children would turn into the little, never-disruptional, always-on-task robots that they desire to numbingly teach through there horribly long (here 6 hours - not counting lunch, and planning breaks) day, for approximately 180 days a year with full pay and benefits. Apologies to the "diamonds in the rough," but around here, teachers are always whining like martyrs and threatening to strike for higher wages and benefits, when everyone around them is being laid-off from 8 hour a day, 260 day a year jobs.
And, I can never even find my son's teacher to talk to her. No returning calls, emails, and she is never there one moment after the end of the school day. (Conferences are during school hours, too.) Most of the school staff is out of the building before the school busses have pulled out with the children! My son's doctor was going to try to contact his teacher, since I failed in my attempts. I thanked him & wished him the best of luck! That was about 2 weeks ago now - he was going to call me after he talked to her. I guess his luck is running as good as mine!
Sorry for the rant - hit a VERY sore spot, indeed!
This was the case year after year. Doctor after Doctor, medication after medication and counselor after counselor. I finally had enough last year and took him out of the public school system and am now homeschooling him. its probably the best thing that has ever happened for him although I struggle sometimes with my own patience we are doing fairly well. He is able to do the work at his own pace, he doesn't have the distraction of the other kids or peer pressure to act up since he's got that reputation now. Our state even pays for all of the books and online curriculum and sent him a computer and all of the supplies for 7th grade. He even gets to do art as part of his curriculum and he usually slaps some paint on a paper or whips it together just to get through it but occasionally i'm able to sneak in an understanding of a particular concept. I highly recommend it if you have the ability and time and are looking for an alternative solution.
I tried to get the schools to understand ADHD, bought books for the teachers and principles to read to help them understand how his brain works what types of approaches would work best for a child like mine, etc. There were only 2 teachers out of the who really tried to work with him, tried to understand and really did a great job with him. All of the others just sent him to the office right away and eventually to ISS or in a couple of cases to the alternative schools for highly disruptive kids (those who usually bring guns, drugs, etc to school or are beating up other kids and threatening teachers). Its a real struggle to find a good teacher who can deal with ADD or ADHD in a public school. They aren't paid enough, have too many other kids to deal with to focus so much time and energy on your child. I have even heard teachers tell me that its not fair to the other kids how much attention my son would get.
Its a very hard situation to be in as a parent. Hang in there and keep trying to get the teachers to understand, have as many meetings as you can. Change your tactics often and don't forget the rewards and most importantly take care of yourself emotionally because in the end our kids need our support most of all.
My son scored upper 2nd and lower 3rd grade levels in the 1st grade. Everyone in the family would tell me "...I don't know why you have such a problem with him, he's alright for me....". We had him on Ritalin for a while, but it was expensive and my husband kept fighting me on having him on medication. His first grade teacher (yeah, here we go with the teachers again)would not so much as fill out the questionnaire for the doctor. His teacher (who had no children of her own) insisted his only problem was disciplinary. His next treacher, was a saint. She knew all to well when he had his med. I forget why I went to the school one day, but his teacher said "(your son)didn't have his med this morning did he? I knew the minute he came thru the door."
Back in those days there was no difference btween Add and ADHD. It was all the same. Ritalin and cylert were the only meds. They told you to limit sugar, nothing with any artificial coloring or flavoring. That kind of cuts out a lot. I am hoping to find out how to deal with adult ADD now.
I also wonder if the med they had me on when I was pregnant had anything to do with my sons prob. I was a military wife at the time and dealing with a lot. My blood pressure went to 125/110 and they put me on phenobarbital. That's some heavy duty stuff when your preg. considering they don't want you to take so much as an aspirin. I hope there are some answers for all of us and hoping answers come for you before your child is 39 and still dealing.
I just wanted to add that I'm in Canada too, and while I'm not sure if the same rules apply in every school board, I know in ours, they don't recognize ADD/ADHD as an actual exceptionality, but they are still REQUIRED to provide an IEP for ANY student that is struggling in the classroom for ANY reason. And that's regardless of how far behind or not behind they are. I only learned that through a public meeting on IEP's through our school board.
So if your teachers still say she doesn't qualify, I would recommend speaking to someone from the board. Our board has regular information sessions on IEP's and our children's rights. Right on the front page of my son's IEP, it states that he is underachieving, which qualifies him for an IEP. And he is able to do grade level work - it's just that the amount of work he's able to produce is a grade behind in terms of expectations.
Good luck to you - I've had my share of misunderstandings and run-ins with teachers too, and it really is difficult sometimes for them to be on the same page.