
Parenting 'Tweens (9-12) Support Group
This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of tweens (9 to 11 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development.

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My daughter is an only child. We would like to have more kids but it has been very difficult for me with my almost 9 year old daughter. We have tons of fun together and do a lot. My husband works nights and long hours so he sees her once a week. So I basically do it all. For some reason she and I seem to clash a lot lately. I have tried various punishments but none seem to stick with her. She gets used to the punishment and then doesn't care. Basically I am late everyday to work and fear I will lose my job. I have tried putting her to bed early and even later to see if she was getting too much sleep. No matter what time she goes to bed she is out within 10 minutes (on the plus side this is the first month she has been sleeping through the night since she was born!!). She wakes up in the morning and I have to help her get dressed so she gets moving. I have tried putting her to bed with her clothes on for the next day but she finds another way to make us late. I have had tons of conversations about trying in a roundabout way to see if there is something going on at school or the daycare and there is nothing - she loves both places. She says she is just too tired in the morning. As much as I hate myself for it I have tried yelling. I even break down in tears sometimes. I even bribed her with toys one time. I know she hates being rushed. We even woke up over an hour early and I would take her to the park to feed the ducks and play and that wore off after the first week. I have made her sit against the wall everyday for however many minutes we are late. I tried making her stay by my side afterschool - when I make dinner and do dishes. I took TV away. She can't play with friends during the week. I gave her extra chores. I explained to her reasons why I can't be late. I tried making her favorite breakfast. I bought her a little timer that she uses to see how long it takes her or so she can try and beat the clock. I tried doing silly things in the morning when I wake her up (like sing and dance). I even read to her half an hour every night to see if it was just extra time with me that she wanted. Her grandma is even talking about coming over every morning so that I can get to work on time. Everything I tried I did for over a month even if it didn't seem to be working because I know it takes a few weeks for it to become habit. It's very upsetting to me that I can't figure out what to do. I even set ALL the clocks in the house half an hour ahead! I have run out of ideas! Can anyone help??
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It's all about teaching them personal responsibility and has wonderful techniques!
The program costs money, but you can probably find a book about it. My son's old schl even offered a free parenting class in it once.
OH! And the book- "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk"...and "How to talk so kids can learn..." are based mostly on these concepts and those books are all over and cheap.
Let me know if u want more info or just wanna chat.
Much luck!
Maybe she wants you to lose your job, so that you can stay home with her. Instead of telling her that you'll lose your job, maybe tell her that you'll have to stay longer at work if you're late, and she'll have to stay longer at daycare. I had to do that with one of mine (I have 4), and it worked. Good luck.