My 10 year old daughter went through a brief (Thank God) period of lying. I told her that she can tell me anything and even though I might get mad, I would be more upset if she lied.

During this phase, she wanted to sleep over at her cousins'. I told her that since she kept telling lies, I didn't believe that she wanted to so I wasn't going to let her go. That seemed to help.

I did ground her from playing with friends for a week. I also had to remind her that it was her fault she was in this situation when she got mad at me for not allowing her to go anywhere. I think it help---for now. But just not sure if I've gotten through to her that it's unacceptable to lie. I tell my kids at least a couple times a week they can talk to me about anything, anytime--hoping this prevents the dishonesty. Apparently, my oldest is not grasping the concept well enough. Thank you for replying!

My almost 10 yo daughter has a lying problem too. She tells me she is going to do something, then doesn't get around to it. I ask her to leave her brother and his best friend alone (both are Asperger kids) and she has to be in the room. She won't leave even though she nodded her head like she understood me. I caught her in that room 4 times! She lied to her teacher about how many books she read, now she has to read and do a book report on the 7 books she lied about. I hope this is a phase, cuz I don't have any room in my hectic life for her lying to me about stupid crap. I have tried talking to her about lying several times. We are at the point now where my bf is our mediator. If she wants something from me, she has to go through him first. We have radically different schedules, so she has to adjust to that because neither one of us are changing our schedules to accomodate her lying. Right now, my trust level for her is very low. I know what you are going through. I have explained to her that lying has worse consequences than telling the truth. I have made that a reality a only a few cases. She still isn't getting it! So for our sakes, it better be a phase!

My 10 year old daughter lies more than she tells the truth. Lies roll right off her tongue. When I catch her at it, she just tells me she didn't want to get into trouble, even after I tell her that lying makes it worse. When does their conscience kick in? How can I impress on her how wrong lying is?

If anyone gets this figured out, please let me know. I though I was the only one with a child incabable of telling the truth. She is 11 and lies about EVERYTHING!!!!! even if it is minor and she won't get in trouble. Now some things have been HUGE and could have gotten ALOT of people in ALOT of trouble. Like I said, I thought she was the only one who did it. Let me know what you all find out PLEASE!!!!!!!!!

I always tell my kids that telling the truth in the first, they will get into trouble but telling a lie to cover up what you did wrong will be a bigger punishment then telling the truth. My son is always lying so when he does tell me the truth I don't believe him I just ignore him. When you lie like you do I am not going to believe you so I won't be there for you to help you out of you problem. There is a reason why our kids are lying to us. When they get older something will happen and if they are telling the truth we won't believe them.

We have had the same problem with our 9 yo. Everything sort of snowballed. she lost her pocket money for her behaviour, but didn't seem to conect her 'crime' to her punishment and thought we were just being mean and not giving her "what all the other kids get all the time" so if she saw something small at school she liked, instead of behaving to earn her pocket money to buy the thing, she just took it, justifying it with "Well I really wanted it and YOU didn't give me any pocket money so I can never buy anything" Then she started lying about things to be able to keep it and not get into trouble for it like someone gave it to her or she found it in the playground. Then the lying started about things she had done, again to avoid punishment even when it was something small and just a mistake and she probably wouldn't have been in trouble for anyway b/c we do try and give her the benefit of the doubt, but it's hard b/c just when she's going well and earning our trust back again, BAM ! she does it again and that chips away at our trust in her a little bit more and each time it's harder and harder to come back from that. Why do kids do this? Is it a normal thing for this age like an early form of teenage rebellion or something????

The first time I caught (and could prove) my kids lied I made the punishment really extreme --- sounds horrible, but like 1 week total grounding , no tv, computer, friends, phone, treats, NOTHING! My daughter has never been caught lying again.
I also have drilled into their heads that honesty gets a HUG and smaller consequence. LYING gets DOUBLE consequence. My son had to get grounded a few times, but is better now and tells me the truth even if it is really bad, I am calm and hug him and thank him for telling the truth and I brag to him about it for weeks. POSITIVE reinforcement. As a result my kids always (mostly) tell me something before I find out on my own.They also know from time to time I will check up on them. This keeps them on their toes ;)

My son is 12 yrs old. I have a HUGE pet peave about lying, so I underestand your having no tolerance. When he was young we told him if he told the truth things were not going to be as hard on him if he lied. So, when he told the truth when he could have lied we really praised him and told him how proud we were he made that choice even when lying would have been easier, he took the high road and took responsibility, we talked about whatever the problem was, why it wasn't ok, what his punishment WOULD have been had he chosen to lie, and rewarded him for his choice of truth. We told him it is always better to take responsibility, accept responsibility to whomever could have been involved, learn a lesson and go on.

This worked fine until last yr. Little things like you are all talking about, saying he will or has done something he did't do (chores/homework). We lightly punished him, but I agree now you need to make a HUGE punishment to let them know in their minds this is a HUGE mistake to make. I talked to him endlessly about "the boy and the wolf" trying to explain if you lie people wont believe you when you need them to.

Several times he found himself in sitiuations where I had a choice to believe him or not. I always believed him because he NEVER lied. I always took the opportunity to reinforce the boy and the wolf story and let him know these were the times he needed me to trust him and I did because he didn't lie.

Well, just this week there was an incident with a teacher. Colby came home all upset with one story, called the principle, she talked to the teacher who said he has NO idea what so ever what Colby was talking about, nothing Colby described happened. Not just a confusion in stories, it just didn't happen! Now, he has never lied more than little chore/homework issues, so making up complete stories I do not think he did. It wasn't even a situation where he had done anything wrong to protect himself for, the teacher basically humiliated him in front of the class with negative talk about how poorly he did on an assignment, which emberased him.

I told him what the teacher said, he couldn't believe it. Was ready to hear how I stood up and defended him and was suprised I didn't. I explained that since he started lieing I could not be certain he was telling the truth. If he wasn't telling the truth he could be getting a good teach in alot of trouble. I explained the wolf story and explained now this is what happens when you need me to trust you and I don't. He was SO upset, I believe him and I am sure he feels victimized and frustrated because this teacher is getting away with no repricution because I can't believe him.

He asked what it would take to be trusted again. I told him he would have to earn my trust back over time by not lieing at all like he had for so many years before, and it was possible to get there again. I also explained next lie he gets caught in big/little there would be severe punishment as this lying is going to STOP!

I think all kids go threw lying as a part of growing up, what is important is what they are taught/allowed to do when they lie. My stepson lives with his mom who tolerates his lies, he told me he lied, but it was OK because if his mom found out she never does anything. So, she taught him lieing is OK. He is 22 yrs old now and I am praying as an adult he has figured out it is not ok!

Good luck, be strong, this too shall pass and I am sure you will have taught it is not ok to lie when all is threw.