Normally, kids stop having trantrums by the time they are 4 or 5, but I have seen older kids have trantrums too. What I used to do with my kids was to tell them to go to their room if they were going to have a tantrum, and they could go in there and scream as much as they wanted. I would take away all the stuff that you mentioned, and I have told my kids that if they want to act like babies, they will get treated like a baby, and babies can't play video games, use a stereo, or know how to turn on the TV. That usually stops mine, but I'm not sure what to recommend for yours. I'm sorry that I have no real advice, but I can empathyze with you. If you want to have a tantrum, I'll be here to calm you down.

lol. thanx i might go ahead and have one.

try a reward system. instead of focusing on the negative things she does over-react to the good things. and as for tantrums, i think the old im not listening or getting frustrated or even acknowleding you works wonders...stick to your guns. keep takin things away, even if it means she has nothing left in her room but a blanket. take the door off the hinges if you need to. dont let her be in charge...

Has she just started doing this or has she been doing it a while? Try being a 5 to 1 parent. Five compliments for every punishment. Yes I know sometimes that is hard. Love and logic works for a lot of people also.

I agree with the reward chart system but you may also want to look into the situation to see what it is that is setting your daughter off. Have there been changes in the household? Have you moved? Is something going on at school that you're not aware of?

Once you establish that everything in your daughter's life is fine, then go ahead and set some new household rules and be consistant with your consequences.

Good Luck!

all is fine at home and school, its just when she cant have her own way. its just the violent outbreaks kicking and making out she will hit me, it hasnt happend as of yet.