for a sec there I thought you where talking about my son lol he is turning 10 in Jan and he has the messy hair look I think its just what their into these days I remember when I was growing up all the hair styles we had that our moms and dads thought was weird lol I'm an 80's kid look at the videos from the 80's you will know what I'm talking about what I did with my son was tell him that he can have his hair as he choses BUT it has to be clean and brushed.I think we kind of have to pick and chose our battles I would rather see my kids come in with a messy hair look then come in on drugs hair can always be cut or dyed another color but the drugs leave there mark on your body forever.

Try letting him gel it up. My son likes that. BTW he wants to get a 'jedi' haircut which to him means one really long sideburn and I'm not sure what else. I left both sideburns but we may have to revisit the issue after the holidays, and after our photo session.

I agree with Trish79.... with my older son, who is now 20, I told him that he can have it any color (once he hit about 13) but that it had to be clean AND somewhat presentable. And it could NOT be covering his eyes. Now, his hair is EMO style (if you don't know what this is, she definition below) and it's jet black (he's typically a blond) and it covers half of his face. I don't like it, but he's legally an adult now. It doesn't look horrible but I hate that it covers half of his face! Personally, it would drive me nuts! I just give thanks when I see other "kids" walking down the street with bright blue mohawks and piercings from head to toe.

So, in case you're wondering about EMO, which your kids may or not be into... they may soon. Here's the definition:

Emo (pronounced /?i?mo?/) is a style of rock music which describes several independent variations of music with common stylistic roots. As such, use of the term has been the subject of much debate.
In later years, the term emocore, short for "emotional hardcore", was also used to describe the emotional performances of bands in the Washington DC scene and some of the offshoot regional scenes such as Rites of Spring, Embrace, One Last Wish, Beefeater, Gray Matter, Fire Party, and later, Moss Icon.
As the remaining indie emo bands entered the mainstream, newer bands began to emulate the mainstream style. As a result, the term "emo" became a vaguely defined identifier rather than a specific genre of music.

Probably more than you asked for.... but alot of EMO kids have "messy" hair.

Good Luck!

My son is the same way. He's 10 and likes to wear it a little longer. But he looks good that way cause of his build. His dad is always wanting him to cut it shorter. Everytime he does he has a meltdown too. I don't have a problem with him wearing it the way he wants. But his dad does. My daughter cuts it for him. I feel bad that there is so much fuss over his hair. He's happy with it now. It's not too long or too short.

Just remember, it's only hair and will grow back, but to them it means a lot! While I have to contend with my son (almost 12) piercing his own ear-twice...I pick my battles!
And in doing so, put on a good act-
the trick is to
let them think u don't like it so they get to feel a little rebelious while not really hurting anyone!
(yeah, I'm sure his ear hurt plenty, but he does sterilize his 'tools') LOL

I have 2 boys, 17 and 9, and I have always let them choose their hair style, within reason. I think it gives them a sense of individuality, and a sense of who they want to be. As a couple of other people already said, you have to pick your battles. With my kids, hair just doesn't make it onto my priority list. Of course if it's your husband making the decision, you should support his decision.

Hello C - thanks for the lesson on Emo. I fear I am much more clueless than even I suspected. Everything you said was new to me. Maybe you should start a thread and give 21st century lessons to us dinosaurs. Man I had no idea I was so old.

You guys are making me feel really fortunate that my son has not yet bought into the long, messy look. He is only nine and I fear what may come later. He would NOT wear longer hair well. My sister's boy (much older now) shaves his head and has spider tattoos all over his arms. Things could be much worse.

I hope you don't feel ganged up on *smiles* of course you're the mom and if you want it short, then he will have to understand until he gets over, but I have to agree that I let him have pretty much what he wants with his hair. He is required to comb it in the morning with his other chores, but the style doesn't matter. I try to keep it just trim enough to be able to manage it, because like a lot of kids he wants to comb it once and that's that.
His dad, by the way is not very happy with the longer look
but he agreed it's okay for now, as long as I keep it out of his face.

I have a 10 and a 12 yr old boys and I let them decide.
My ten year old prefers it shorter the 12 yr old longer.
One rule they must shower everyday!

The situation is getting better. I did drive him to school because he didn't want to be seen on the bus. But his hair is REALLY CUTE! He said people said stuff until about lunch (10:30am) then after that it stopped. So at least it's not as traumatic as he thought it would be. Thanks all for your comments.