This is really difficult to try and condense so much without posting a long discussion, But I will try and condense it and keep it short..My 11 year old is from my second marriage, her father was a violent man and during the first three years of her life we spent many times in and out of womens shelters along with my two other children from my first marriage. enough was enough so I raised them on my own single parent.. I have been the main influence in my daughters life, her father has had little to do with her over the years.. My daughters behaviour I would think is not unlike most children her age. She has a very caring and loving nature, loves animals , she is social and has lots of friends, loves to get in and help me out with the chores and there are times I have to ask her to do chores and times when she just wants to do things for me with out being asked.. She tells lies, backchats, argues with me argues with her older sister, trys to excert authority over her older siblings and niece and nephew as well as tease,boss and torment them much to their disspleasure (niece and nephew-my two grandchildren in my permanent care), expresses her oppinions whether its asked for or not, always seeking attention. She can be abnoxious at times, And sometimes she is 11 going on 18.. I deal with her behaviour how I see fit at the time.. I have been engaged for 18 months now, and my fiance points out to me that a lot of her behaviour is not normal.. Lots of little things she does seems to irritate him imensely, such as if we are sitting at the table and she picks something up and fidgits with it, twirls and twigles it around, just little fidgity stuff, after a few minutes of this annoyance he snatches it out of her hands untill she finds something else to fiddle with.. another thing that annoys him is that she acts or trys to act way beyond her years. another is she lies to much. I think what he really hates is that she will say what she thinks and expresses her oppinions. for example one evening when we stayed over at his house, she had gone to bed, and he thought she had been sleeping so he starts this discussion about her(as much as I tried to disuade him from going over this topic again) and she came out of the bedroom and said to him "If you have a problem with me, talk to me about it, dont talk about me" . I know he doesnt like that one bit.. I believe she has every right to say and speak her mind, thats how Ive brought my children up... there are a lot of other issues he brings up about her but gee I it will be a big post if I wrote all that down, what I should do is get him to email me all the things listing all the things that he believes need attention and then put it in a post and see what you think.. I really believe He needs to make some effort and do some searching on childrens behaviour and work from there.. other wise it is going to be an awfully long long engagement, maybe indeffinate.. Is she typical or non typical 11 year old..
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