
Parenting Toddlers (1-3) Support Group
This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of toddlers (1 to 3 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development. Join to share your stories and get advice.
Toddler is Kicking My Butt!!!

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My son who is 2, almost 3 is beginning to get really mean and violent lately. He refuses to go to sleep or to even cuddle with me pre sleep the way he used to. He won't keep his feet, hands, arms and any other object to himself. He constantly yells "no" and hits either myself, my husband or any object in his path. He throws things constantly, and is completely defiant. What can I do? I have tried reasoning with him, asking him calmly to do things for/with me, and everything else under the sun short of sitting here ripping my hair out in frustration! HELP! he's driving me NUTS!!!
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i'm going nuts too! i think its normal!)
SO I think that 2 year olds can out smart us 30 year old parents.
No matter what we say its NO NO NO! I have to put her in time out - even if that means I go to time out with her. Away from the t.v. - the toys - other people.
Seems to be working.
I am going to say this as properly as I can but to get the FULL EFFECT of what I am saying I will say it in a more laxed way.
My son at about 20months started to show more aggression. He was fine when he was at his first day care. I changed him to another school when he turned 2. Then he decided to show is ass. Bighting , hitting, throwing things etc. Now there was a lot going on then. I let one of my friends stay with me until she could get on her feet. She was ummm.. Agressive, negative, just bad energy all around. When her son (3yo) came on the weekends would cus him out. Her son older than my liked to restle, my child liked it until he didn't then it turned into a fight. So when she moved out I thought things would be better. SLIGHTLY. I gave it some time still only partially better. I then put him on a bed time schedual (took 2 weeks). That worked better but he still had violent streaks and tried to get buck with me. I ripped him a new asshole. I do not condone any abuse of any kind however if I have to tap him 2 good times a month to keep him from a path of jail I will. Then I find out only through his dad picking him up (3 or4 times a month) from school his behavior patterns there. He was bighting, kicking, throwing things, not listening and talking back. Now every time I tell him to do something (he won't dare say no again) and he begins to say something like not right now or I am doing something else I say "Are you talking back" he says "no ma'am" I say then do what I asked thank you. And he does it. Sometimes if he is trying to rebellion he will keep talking then he gets flicked in the mouth and told "stop talking back". Every morning before school he go through the list of what big boys do and don't do and he repeats everything I say so there is no confusion.
- no kicking, no scratching, no bighting, no throwing things.......
-listen to Mrs. Card, Mr. Hussan, Mrs........
(I name each teacher so that he is very clear and it is very specific)
I AM PROUD TO SAY THAT ONCE THIS REGEMENT STARTED I HAVE HAD NO COMPLAINTS ABOUT HIS AGGRESSION.
He still has some issues with sharing and knowing appropriate times when to focus and when to play. I started playing more slow and taking tuns games like memory match and he is really beginning to get a hang of turns.
The answer to the going out problem is NOT STAYING HOME. The reason, for my son at least, he doesn't get when he needs to be focused and disciplined and when he can play is because I gave up. I decided to just not go anywhere so he wouldn't drive me nuts by running around. Then I realized, HOW WILL HE EVER LEARN IF HE NEVER HAS TO? If all he does is play around the house (in whatever he chooses to where) WHY ON EARTH WOULD UNDERSTAND THAT THAT IS NOT APPROPRIATE EVERYWHERE. I started to let him go places like basketball games. Even if we go to the park I make him do arbitrary things just to make sure he understands that he needs to listen. - this step I just began because it is freezing over here and I really don't want to go out. I did notice a difference, if I take him out, library, movies etc.. And assure him you listen to me AT ALL TIMES and AT ALL PLACES he begins to transfer that.
Last but not least. 1.2.3. system
Not listening. If you have to use this system make sure you make them tell you why they did/didn't do what they were told. If they can't talk explain why it was wrong and repeat that after there punishment. ex- Lijah why were you not allowed to eat icecream tonight? answer- because I through a tantrum. If they don't answer they are still in time out
1. ask
2. warn
3. punish
or
Is listening
1. ask
2. praise
3. reward
I hope this helps.
I got most of this tips from my mom and coworkers(they are therapists) when I was pulling out my hair.