Welcome to the twos! I said recently that mine has passed the terrible twos and is into the horrendous twos. I just hope there isn't a third tier!

If she is picking up on stress it is your stress not hers. My husband was recently out of the country for a month and I think my 2 year old pushed all of my buttons all day long. Both of us are much happier since my husband came home.

Have you tried putting her into a bear hug when she starts hitting. So that you hold her arms to her side? Speak quietly in her ear and get used to acknowledging her feelings. I don't think it means much to them now, but it's a good habit. Just an "I know you're upset you can't have the toy, but we can't always have our way" Speaking quietly may get her to stop screaming so she can hear you. At least that's the theory I've read! You may have to just walk away from her at home (hard at stores). We put ours into his crib when he gets into these moods. Just until he calms down. Sometimes I think he needs some decompression time to calm down. As long as she is somewhere safe let her have her tantrum. A friend told me she used to walk out of the room from her child. He followed her once and she walked out again. He wasn't getting a response, so it cut back on the tantrums. At stores, in the long run, it may be easier to leave the store and come back another time. (read the post on Christmas shopping with toddlers)

It's so tempting to hit back, but in the long run it doesn't teach them hitting is wrong.

One of my friends who has very well behaved children. Calls her "time out" the self-control chair. Her 3 year-old sits in the chair, has his tantrum, and then when he's calm he asks her to set the timer and sits for 3 minutes calmly. So the faster he gets control of his emotions the sooner he can get up. I really like this idea and plan on using it when my son is a little older.

Don't worry about her being too spoiled when she grows up. I was a spoiled only child and I grew up into a fine adult.

I went thru A LOT of hitting and biting with my son at the beginning of the twos. I was also a 24/7 sahm. A few things that helped: first and foremost...time apart. He would go to my in-laws for a few days so we would have a break from one another by then end of two days we were so giddy to see one another that we were happy again. I would also make him get off my lap and not let him be held if he hurt me and lastly I found a series of books...hands are not for hitting, teeth are not for biting, feet are not for kicking that helped a lot. It does get better but I know it's very very frustrating. I put him in nursery school for a little bit of socialization and that also made a world of difference.

Considering I have the child with the WORST temper I have ever seen (literally!) who is almost 2. When he's mad, he's instantly mad! He will take his paci and throw it as hard as he can or if he doesn't have one at the moment he will look around for something to pick up and throw! Or the all time favorite is to thwow himself on the floor! I was sweeping the kitchen the other day and he comes in the room (I'm not even sure what he was mad at) and here he goes gently falling right in the dust. He is "nice/nasty" so he was highly upset that his hands had debris on them. It was really too funny.

I try to just ask what's wrong and remain calm. It's so frustrating sometimes and hard to keep my cool but I just ignore it a lot of the times and he will get up, still crying mind you, but he will get up.

sounds like we are all going throught the same thing. I have a two year old daughter and I swear she has the devil inside her...lol.
I'd love to hear from someone who didn't have a 2 year old terrorist...and then give mine to them lol...just kidding

Shall we add teething to the mixture of a two year old and their ever changing moods. If there was away to help those teeth come in fast she would have all of them by now.

However they do have their momnets, that are just as precious as can be. My favorite time of day is when it is time for her to go to bed and I lay down with her for a moment. She throughs her arm around my neck and rubs my cheeck with her other hand. SHe is so gentle and loving it melts my heart and makes me forget the days rough times.

Her new favorite thing is to ask for a kiss on the neck (cheeck) and then wipe it off and laugh and say all gone.

There are days that I would love to give her away, but then when she isn't with me for more than an hour I miss her terrribly.
Thanks

I dont think her tatrums are due to her dad being away so much. I think its because you two may need that space... Also, the tatrums can be fixed and it can be a quick fix if you are patient. I think you should talk to her emmediately after the tantrum stops. Just sit her down like an adult and explain to her how it makes you feel and its unacceptable behavior. Dont give in to her. Usually the men have it easy when it comes to behavor issues. They tend to act out with the parent they see the most. My daught at age 11 monts throws tantrums and I just let her and then when it stops I talk to her. I noticed I dont get as many tantrums as I did when she was 9 & 10 months. I use to get really stressed out and call my husband yelling " get over here and help me with this child" A cousin of mine gave me the advice and its helped so much. I now leave her for a few hour at a time with my niece, mom or close friend. Its healthy for mom & children to have their space.

Good luck, if you need anythign I am here.

Cheers,
Mia

I would love to be able to get away, but like crazy people my husband and I moved away from all of our family. I have a hard time trusting people when it comes to her, and I don't leave her with anyone. Our family lives in New York and we live in Colorado. Believe me when she is old enough I plan on shipping her to her grandparents in the summer for a while, but until then I am 100% hands on. I jhave a friend that takes her maybe once every other month for a few hours, but I need more time to gather my sanity. :)

Sound like a very normal 2 year old, and very bright. Ignore ignore ignore!
Any tantrum should be ignored and good beg=haivour should always be recognised. with hitting and biting I have always put it down to empathy training. I make sure she knows it is wrong and hurts her mummy even sometimes a few boo hoos from muma. they are looking for a response, depending on the one you keep giving is whether it will continue. not straight away but they do eventually get the picture if you are consistant.
Good luck and remember it wont last forever and that if you are doing your best as a mummy you are doing the best for her.
Sending hugs and tickles to miss two!

Well, at 22 months we are on our way to! I'm a SAHM and am the same way. I don't trust her with anyone. I'm with her ALL DAY except for at night when I go to school. But, when she's with Daddy she's ok, when I get home, all I have to do is try to say "hi" to her and it's on. Throws herself down on the floor crying or will run away from me and let me tell you, my daughter is QUEEN of Mad Dogs, this girl can throw some looks!! Hubby says she gets that from me which is probably true..LOL
But the few temper tantrums she started to throw at the store, I pulled right out of the cart, put her back in the car and we came home. She kept saying "no shopping?" and I said "not if you act like that." She hasn't done it since, but that was only last week...LOL
It's SOOO wonderful to see I'm not alone going through this! Thank you all for the GREAT advice!