
Parenting Toddlers (1-3) Support Group
This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of toddlers (1 to 3 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development. Join to share your stories and get advice.

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I'm trying to teach my 20 month old to say please-every time I say "please" he starts yelling or crying. I've tried saying it while smiling, saying it sternly-he refuses! If he can say cookie, puppy and turtle, please is much easier! Manners are very important to me and I would love him to just try-what am I doing wrong? Whenever he askes for something I tell him to say please, and he won't-I can't withhold the things he wants forever just 'cuz he won't say please, right??
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Also, depending on what your toddler wants, I'd withhold it until they do say please. My daughter has learned the connection that "please" means you get what you want. Now she tries using it for everything she wants. She thinks that if she says "please" she could have all the cookies in the house.
When your child asks for a cookie, go ahead and say, "Cookie, please." When you hand him the cookie, say, "Thank you for the cookie." Don't force him right now. Just be really consistent in setting an example. That's all I did with my children and I have to say, they have really good manners. Of course, they sometimes need reminded, but it's so great to see them display good manners... even when they are just dealing with each other.
When your son does say "thank you" and "please" make sure you tell him, "Thank you for using your good manners."
I think you can withold the things he wants as long as you feel necessary - YOU are the parent, and YOU have the power in the situation. No matter how much he yells and screams, he cannot force you to give in. Eventually he will learn his manners.
Hope this helps, good luck! :)