Parenting Toddlers (1-3) Support Group

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Good hugs vs. bad hugs?

deleted_user
deleted_user
I know this may sound like weird concern, but my son likes to hug people. He used to just hug women who had positive or joyous personalities. He used to not hug women who looked angry or seemed to have negative attitudes. Now he hugs men. I dont mind him hugging the ladies as much, but I do mind him hugging men. How do I tell him this is wrong without hurting his feelings? My son loves to make people smile. He loves to wave at everyone. He is such a happy child. I love him dearly but I dont want him to continue going up to just anyone and putting him in their grips. Who knows who may be the next would be kidnapper?

I dont want to sound paranoid but he is a cutie and I am afraid that he is putting himself in danger hugging everyone and anyone. I would rather he hug people I can trust. I dont want him to go to the park again and hug any guy or gal without knowing these people. I dont want to make him an introvert either. I just want him to be more careful in whom he chooses to hug. Also the guys that I have seen who have received hugs from my son are unsure what to do. Its really an awkward position to put a stranger in, especially for a male. I was thankful the men didnt hug Matthew back but just looked at me while I tried to pry Matthew away.
deleted_user
deleted_user
How do I tell my son this isnt ok without hurting his feelings and turning him into an introvert like me? I love that he is happy and outgoing. I love that he isnt shy. I just wish he would be a little more reserved as to whom he chooses to hug.
deleted_user
deleted_user
So, how old is he? Is he old enough to understand the difference between strangers and people we know? If so I would just make that the main sticking point. Put it on the stranger..."some people dont like to be hugged by people they dont know. But you are sweet to want to hug him. How bout a hug for mommy instead" Or something to that effect. He definitely shouldnt be hugging random people but this could just be a phase too. It may depend alot on his age. Hope this helps.
deleted_user
deleted_user
He does sound like a cutie and it's a tough one to enforce without feeling like you're squelching his spirit. Bottom line: be consistent and start now. He does need to learn sooner than later that it's not okay to approach strangers for any reason. You can start teaching a child this as soon as they can walk and understand simple sentances. Best of luck to you....I wish the world was the type of place that would embrace your son's innocence and zest for life. Unfortunately, it's just not! Again, good luck :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
I truely understand your concern. There are too many people you can't trust. I have a very cute, outgoing 3 year old boy, He knows no stranger.
One thing I did with him was teach him to shake hands with people he meets. I let him know that hugs were for friends. Now he offers to shake hands instead of hugs. When he meets someone nwe he offers his hand and says hi I'm Johnny. He only hugs people when they ask for a hug and sometimes he just tells them NO THANKS.
I hope this helps and good luck
Bob
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