
Parenting Teenagers (12-18) Support Group
This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of teenagers (12 to 18 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development.

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Kirsti is my stepdaughter. Her mom took her to Gatlingburg and got her belly button pierced. Kirstis dad don't know it yet. Kirsti is only 15 and her mom done it knowing that it would make her dad mad. Kirsti knew her dad wouldn't like it. The mom calls me fussing at me because she couldn't get anyone else on the phone. I told the mom that they BOTH knew he wouldn't like it. She told me that if Bo makes her take it out, everytime Kirsti comes to her house she'd have it pierced again and again.
I've not told her dad, because the way I look at it is if Kirsti was acting like an adult and got it done Kirsti should act like an adult and tell him herself. I am wrong for this? I don't know what to do. I don't want to be the 1 to get her into trouble. I don't see anything wrong with it, but I do think that she's to young to do it. HELP!
I've not told her dad, because the way I look at it is if Kirsti was acting like an adult and got it done Kirsti should act like an adult and tell him herself. I am wrong for this? I don't know what to do. I don't want to be the 1 to get her into trouble. I don't see anything wrong with it, but I do think that she's to young to do it. HELP!
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For better or worse, her mother went with her. On the plus side, her mom should be monitoring the piercing to make sure infection doesn't develop. On the negative side, it seems that Kristi's mom is using her daughter to "get back" at her ex.
I guess the part that concerns me is that the ex wife is willing to use her daughter's body to take a stand -- control -- it's not good that she will allow her to keep piercing her body to spite the ex......
When your husband finds out, I would remind him to pick his battles carefully; do not give the ex the satisfaction of getting a rise out of this situation. Further, it's just not healthy to have the ring in and out before the wound is fully healed. I'm hoping that he will be the "BIG" person in this battle and simply voice his unhappiness and ask that the piercing be covered while he is present.....save his energies for the inevitable teen issues that have to do with his daughter's safety (curfew, sex, drugs, alcohol....).
Like you, I would not want any part of this situation. My gut response is to agree with you, and let the 3 of them work it out......but I think it raises some questions/issues......and I don't know if you should keep a secret.
First, how do you feel about being manipulated - put in the middle of this situation by the ex and stepdaughter? Are they sharing this information with you hoping that you will tell Bo so they won't have to deal with his anger first hand?
Second, how will Bo feel about you knowing this and not sharing the info? Is this a kind of secret that will cause trouble in your relationship with him? Is it better to talk with him first and come up with a strategy for handling this situation. Again, is this the battle he wants to take on especially if the wound is not healed and/or the ex will continue to allow repiercings.....?
Gosh, more questions than advice. I hope this is somewhat helpful. Good Luck!
Because this is a belly ring, and likely not to be seen I wouldn't say a thing. If he sees it and is forced to take it out I highly doubt that she'll get it pierced over and over as suggested by the mother. Eventually the daughter will tire of getting poked so much. I wouldn't bring it up, but if it's seen you could point it out to him or not. That is your decision. If you as a household member don't want it in YOUR house then say something regardless of it's seen or not. You deserve to be respected in your home no matter what the ex wife thinks. And yes it is a form of disrespect if it goes against any rule you have in place.
I hope that helps.. Best of luck.