Our son went through a phase where he wanted piercings. I put my foot down on the tongue - told him I would not tolerate something that damaged his teeth especially after paying for his braces, etc. I drew the line here and hoped that he would get past the phase or pick an inconspicuous spot.....and so he had his ears pierced and got over it. In general, I'm not crazy about piercings mostly because they can pose a health risk. Also, the ones on the face do damage that can't always be fixed once you're 25 and realize that it just isn't you any more (LOL). So, at least your stepdaughter's belly ring doesn't have to be seen by everybody.

For better or worse, her mother went with her. On the plus side, her mom should be monitoring the piercing to make sure infection doesn't develop. On the negative side, it seems that Kristi's mom is using her daughter to "get back" at her ex.

I guess the part that concerns me is that the ex wife is willing to use her daughter's body to take a stand -- control -- it's not good that she will allow her to keep piercing her body to spite the ex......

When your husband finds out, I would remind him to pick his battles carefully; do not give the ex the satisfaction of getting a rise out of this situation. Further, it's just not healthy to have the ring in and out before the wound is fully healed. I'm hoping that he will be the "BIG" person in this battle and simply voice his unhappiness and ask that the piercing be covered while he is present.....save his energies for the inevitable teen issues that have to do with his daughter's safety (curfew, sex, drugs, alcohol....).

Like you, I would not want any part of this situation. My gut response is to agree with you, and let the 3 of them work it out......but I think it raises some questions/issues......and I don't know if you should keep a secret.

First, how do you feel about being manipulated - put in the middle of this situation by the ex and stepdaughter? Are they sharing this information with you hoping that you will tell Bo so they won't have to deal with his anger first hand?

Second, how will Bo feel about you knowing this and not sharing the info? Is this a kind of secret that will cause trouble in your relationship with him? Is it better to talk with him first and come up with a strategy for handling this situation. Again, is this the battle he wants to take on especially if the wound is not healed and/or the ex will continue to allow repiercings.....?

Gosh, more questions than advice. I hope this is somewhat helpful. Good Luck!

My boyfriend's daughter got her upper ear pierced not too long ago. He made her take it out every weekend she was here. She finally left it out.

Because this is a belly ring, and likely not to be seen I wouldn't say a thing. If he sees it and is forced to take it out I highly doubt that she'll get it pierced over and over as suggested by the mother. Eventually the daughter will tire of getting poked so much. I wouldn't bring it up, but if it's seen you could point it out to him or not. That is your decision. If you as a household member don't want it in YOUR house then say something regardless of it's seen or not. You deserve to be respected in your home no matter what the ex wife thinks. And yes it is a form of disrespect if it goes against any rule you have in place.

I hope that helps.. Best of luck.

I agree with most of what you said. My only advice would be, your husband might view you not telling him as a negative that could cause some friction between the two of you. I suggest telling him that she got the piercing, but maybe leave out the comment the Mother made about continually piercing if the Father makes her take it out. Good luck!

I had this conversation with my 14 year old about getting her ears gauged. She is very much thinking in the here and now and not thinking about when she is an adult, because teenagers don't think that way. I put it in the perspective of temporary vs permanent decisions that we make. Some decisions that we make are temp. and can be fixed, like a small gauging - you can just wear regular earrings, so it probably won't effect you much in the future. Some decisions that we make are permanent - like a huge gauging that may seem really cool when you are 14, but not so cool when you are 30 and trying to get a job in a bank. She really seemed to get that. A belly button piercing - kinda not hygenic, but you really have to pick your battles. It can be covered up - temp decision.

Also, why did the mom do it? Was it specifically to make the dad mad? Was it something that Kirstie really wanted and might have done unsafely anyway? If you don't want her to get into trouble, tell her to keep it covered when she comes to see her dad, to respect his feelings.

Yeah, definetely stay out of it. The mom is only doing it to get a reaction out of the dad, so don't give her the satisfaction by telling him. A belly button piercing is not big deal. I feel bad for Kirsti tho, having such an insane mom.