The driving would be an issue for me as well. Does she really want to date the nephew given his track record? The other has significant issues as well....is she attracted to men in crisis - needs to be needed? At 18, you are just the consultant. Hope she has many circles to travel in, school, work, church. volunteer, hobby (dance or?). If she is busy in other areas of her life, perhaps she won't be quite so focused on these 2? Good Luck!

The second one doesn't have to help raise his brother.He just wants to be there for him and to take some of the weight off his mothers shoulders.I take this as him being a responsible young man.He wants to take care of his family.

Probably the issue to tackle is nephew coming to house driving while stoned. You are all of you validating this by allowing him to do so. (Having said this I have no idea if you have spoken to him about this, or put any rules in place.) It is your house, and for myself I would not want a stoned person in the house. Whoever he or she was.

Your daughter may think it cool - but has she seen you calmly put some boundaries of behaviour down that apply to ALL family members?

She is 18 and there is not a jot you can do about it really, but - if she lives with you, then she should abide by a consensus of family agreements that all live by - which may not include turning up drunk or stoned. I am not sure - but No2 sounds like a caring responsibly fellow. But we cannot choose for our daughters. They must and no doubt will make their own mistakes.

As the others have said, your daughter is going to date whomever she pleases, and other than giving her advice if she asks for it, there is little you can do about it. Yes, the second young man sounds like a great choice, although there may be things about him that you don't know that might not make him such a great choice. You do, however, have a say in who comes to your house, and in what condition they must be in to visit your house. If this is your husband's nephew, have your husband talk to him about not coming to your house while he is impaired. This is not a decision that has to go through your daughter. I wish you the best.

My daughter has now left home to live where she can do as she pleases and dropped out of school.She was 2 weeks from having her ged.Sh has movdin with her sister by her father.They have never done any thing for her not the 1st b'day present or Christmas ppresent,never came to a b'day party,school function....nothing at all.They even denied her until I MADE HER FATHER HAVE a DNA test and even then when her grandmother passed away all of the grandchildren were mentioned in the obituary but her.Now she has chosen to be with them because she won't have any ruled ther.Her sister wants to be her daughters friend instead of their mother.they don't even call her'mom' they call her by her name.All this because my husband ask his nephew not to come over here if she was here.