
Parenting Teenagers (12-18) Support Group
This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of teenagers (12 to 18 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development.
Teenager who won't do ANYTHING!

deleted_user
Hi..
I have a son who is amost 17. He won't go to school even though I drag him there eveyday. He won't work. He is totally disrepectful. Will not do anything to contribute around the house.
Day after day I take him to school only to have him leave once I go to work. He steals from me. He has no respect. I have no control. Even less now that he is he bigger than me.
There is a lot of history to this story..I know I did a lot of things wrong.
but do I have to keep putting up with this?
Do I ride it out? I have taken to counselling. I have taken him to rehab. I have lectured. I tried reasoning. I have tried everything.
and each day that goes by I get more and more frustrated and get more and more angry that I have to put up with his crap.
Do I have to put up wiht his crap? Are there any other parents who have put their teens out?
Do I have any other options?
I have threatened to put him out..but guilt always gets in the way. He knows this so my threats are useless. I feel like my hands are tied.
Any suggestions?
I have a son who is amost 17. He won't go to school even though I drag him there eveyday. He won't work. He is totally disrepectful. Will not do anything to contribute around the house.
Day after day I take him to school only to have him leave once I go to work. He steals from me. He has no respect. I have no control. Even less now that he is he bigger than me.
There is a lot of history to this story..I know I did a lot of things wrong.
but do I have to keep putting up with this?
Do I ride it out? I have taken to counselling. I have taken him to rehab. I have lectured. I tried reasoning. I have tried everything.
and each day that goes by I get more and more frustrated and get more and more angry that I have to put up with his crap.
Do I have to put up wiht his crap? Are there any other parents who have put their teens out?
Do I have any other options?
I have threatened to put him out..but guilt always gets in the way. He knows this so my threats are useless. I feel like my hands are tied.
Any suggestions?
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HES 17 NOT 18 WHOS THE BOSS HERE? HES WALKING ALL OVER YOU.HE STEALS HE GOES TO JAIL FOR A COPLE DAYS MAYBE HE WLL LEARN HIS LESSON. ONCE HE GETS HOME FROM JAIL HE WONT BE ALOUD IN YOUR HOUSE UNTIL HE RESPECTSYOU STOPS STEALING AND GETS HELP FROM A PHYCOLOGIST. LOOK INTO THERAPY DONT HELP HIM DONT HELP HIM UNTIL HE WANTS TO HELP HIMSELF. I KNOW IT SOUNDS HARSH BUT HES NOT 8 YET SO YOU STILL HAVE CONTROL OVER HIM. GET CONTROL BEFORE IT IS TO LATE AND HE TURNES TO DRUGS INSTEAD OF THERAPY... ITS HARSH BUT TRUE I AM TALKING FROM EXPIRIENCE.... TELL ME WHAT YAL THINK FROM MY COMMENT FEEL FREE TO TBE HARSH I SAY IT LIKE IT IS YALL CAN SAY IT LIKE IT IS RIGHT BACK! PEACE GOOD LCK WITH YOUR SON:)
Hugs and prayers
Alesha
Anyhow, I agree with some of the other advice. You need to get him into counseling. He may be battling depression or even a drug problem that you are unaware of.
I think it's important that you figure out exactly what you expect of him and if he does not meet your expectations and follow the rules, then you will have to follow through with consequences. There is no other way.
I would recommend that you sit down with him and have him sign a contract that you written out and both agreed upon. For instance, it might state something like this:
**You must go to school and pass your classes. If you do not attend school, you must get a full-time job and pay rent. Your rent will be $150 per month, due on the 1st. (If he's late you must revote TV, Phone, Computer, etc.). And if he still refuses to pay, then you must find a place for him to go. Help him find a teen in crisis center or something... but be strong and don't back down.
**He must agree to a drug test once a week (there are home tests available listed under the recommendation tab in this community). If he comes up positive, he will have to agree to go to rehab.
**There should be a curfew at his age and you should know where he is at, at all times.
**If he is caught stealing again, you will report him to the police.
**He must agree to attend counseling once a week (if he wants to live under your roof).
I know these sound harsh but at this point, it seems like there is no other way. Also, help him find something that he might be interested in (music, art, sports) and encourage him to nurture those strengths and interests.
Good luck and keep us posted.
and here I sit tonight..the second night in a row he has not come home. No idea where he is. No calls. No nothing. and I have to be up for work in 6 hours. Instead..once again I am sitting awake all night worrying about him.
He is not the only child in this house either. I have a 4 year old as well. But everything revolves around him. The houes is in a constant up roar because of his bull crap. I am so angry. Tired of being angry.
I need to get the guts to do this. Somehow.
I am starting to think this method of punishment, no matter how harsh it sounds, might be the answer to some of the other issues we have. But still thinking about it. It's tough. He is my kid. I love him more than anything.
I dream about the day he is an adult and we can have a different type of relationship. Working on changing me for when it happens! Cause I don't want to be doing this when he is 30! NO WAY!!