I'm sure that does hurt. My time for that hasn't come yet, but it won't be long. When I think about it coming and feel sad, I tell myself that the goal of parenting is to raise an independent, capable adult. We only have them for a little while, and some time in the past, we left our parents. Funny how all I could think about was freedom ... didn't give a second thought to how mom and dad felt! I hope this helps some and know that you aren't alone! xoxo

I know what you're going through. My oldest stepdaughter turned 18 two months before she graduated from high school. She knew that she had to follow the rules that we have set up for our home. That is until she left. She informed my husband the day before graduation that she would be leaving in 3 days, and that she would be going to live with her mother. She left at the end of May. In August, my mother-in-law passed away, and the whole family went to the funeral, but she never spoke to us, even though she stayed at the hotel with us. Since that time, she has not called or emailed her dad. It is breaking his heart that he lost his oldest daughter and his mother in the span of two and a half months. We don't know anything about what she's doing now unless she tells her grandfather and he tells us. She has even gone as far as to not call or email her little sister, who still lives with us. I figure that it's best to give her time to get over whatever it is that is stuck, and she will call when she's ready to talk. I know that sounds harsh, but there is no use in pushing the issue, because there is a chance that by doing that we will only drive her further away.

Give her some time to figure out what she wants out of life, and be there for her when she is ready to talk.

My oldest is 14 and youngest is 12. It is very hard for me to see my little girl gowing into the beautiful young lady she is becoming and seeing her just blossum in front of my eyes.I know in 4 short years she will be going away to college and my youngest will be gone in 6 years.As rotten as the kids can be and as wonderful as they can be, this rips my heart out every time one of them goes away from us for an extended amount of time. There is so much of our work yet to be done. She hasn't even asked about dating much, but that day is coming. How do I let my "Daddys' Girl" go with another male when I am not there to protect her especially with all of the weirdos that are out there. The last thing I ever want is that call that my daughter had been date raped or anything like that. She has good head on her shoulders. I don't worry about her judgement, I worry about the wacky boys that are out there. My son is young enough still, so I feel I have more time to counsel him.

My 17 year old lives with my mother..
It was devastatingly hard to let him go but it was necessary.
he and i are so much alike we can't live together..
now we are the best of friends we talk all the time but it took quite a while to get to that point.
give it time is all i can say

Thanks. I know that my kids have to become the adults they are going to be. I know looking at the pictures when they were little and looking at them now, I am always amazed at how my cutie pies changed into the beautiful young lady/handsome young man they are becoming.

I am going through a similar thing my beautiful 17 year old daughter has moved out it will be our first christmas without her. My only advice is to keep communications open and be there when needed. I still get very emotional and am focussing y attention on my other beautiful 14 year old.

Dear deb38,
I am enclosing the poem below that has helped me remember that as much as we love our children, eventually they do fly away.
I hope it helps! Good luck

"Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday."

By Kahlil Gibran

I hear your pain. We have not yet experienced my son leaving, but we have about 2 years til we do. I guess you have to bite your tongue and pray that she is making good choices, and if she makes some mistakes along the way, pray she learns from them. Be there for her when she is ready, and just listen, don't ask too many questions or make any judgements, this will only scare her away.