My 15 yr. old son is involved with a girl, same age, that is from a very differant culture and the relationship is BAD!! Her parents do not approve of my son based solely on this differance (they told me) and they hold their daughter to a VERY high standard in all aspects of life. She is caving under the pressure. I have been snooping through his stuff and have found notes he saves from about 8 mos. ago to the present. I periodically read the new ones and I don't think he knows I know where he keeps them so I sorta know alot of private stuff that is going on with the 2 of them, most of it innocent. I have found and read notes from her to my son about thinking of suicide and how much she hates her life. I contacted the school guidance dept. (6mos ago) and anonomously reported her thoughts to the school, even reading the counselor some of her notes, they did persue it and she was, maybe still is, in counceling. She is also a cutter when she gets depressed. Anyhow, the newest wrinkle is that my son seems to be her only bright spot and she calls him constantly for support. She recently drew him a picture of herself in a dog collar and handcuffs with him holding the leash and asked him in the note to tie her up next time she was alone with him and bite her so she could feel pleasure from the pain. My solution so far towards this has been to make sure they are never alone together but I hesitate to make them break up because I feel she relys heavily on his support and I know he thinks he loves her. I do not feel comfortable talking to her parents because I think there is possibly lots more going on at home (negative) that I don't know about and I fear I will make the situation worse. My son at 15 is obviously too young to understand what is wrong with her and I wish for him only happy relationships. Meanwhile...I do want to talk to him about this but I also don't want him to get mad at me for snooping and clam up totally. We do still have a fairly open communications line. By the way, I know from the notes that both kids are still very much virgins and sex is still a ways off. Any suggestions? I am shocked by all of this and need to know how to proceed.
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I am new to this group and feel so alone sometimes. I have two sons in the prison system, due to drugs mainly heroin. I have three children and who in the world has two boys this happens to? I question every day, my parenting skills, I am an educator so I know better. Their dad has also used, after our divorce. I honestly, don't know how this will get better, prison system is not right....