First off I think it's great you have such an open relationship with your son that he came to you with this prior to the altercation.

I think you are right, have you explained it to him in the manner you have presented it here? School grounds are not the place for this, things are just so different than when we were kids if he can find the way to be the bigger person he will feel better for it. Though this next part may not be on the upside of public opinion, I do believe if it persists for too long then he should do what he feels he needs to, making sure there are witnesses as well as witnesses to the prior bullying and making sure he DOES NOT throw the first punch. With these things if it does come to an altercation then you have ammo to fight back with if the school becomes to harsh on him again. GL

thanks chris333....i agree with him not being on school grounds..and about the witneses, because there are video cameras all over the school...and yes, both my husband and i have told him what i told you....apparently this kid has a habit of carrying knives and brass knuckles....geez we live in suburbia...why these kids get all gangster i don't know...thanks for such positive feedback..:)

like I said not the same as when I went to school...we fought with fists and weren't scared the next time we say the person that they might be packing. It's not an easy world that our kids have to deal with. I was thinking about this and coming back to put another comment in when I saw your response =)

My daughter (16) was having major problems in one of her classes with some other girls, my daughter chose to take it to her school consular - after a few times of this happening the consular said they would have a word with the teacher. Consular is bound to the privacy just as one that is paid, if it had gotten back to the girls that it came from my daughter and her friend we would have had the right to take legal action... it's not totally stopped but is has lessen quite a bit... it might be another avenue for him... or even his girlfriend, boys can sometimes have 'to much pride' =)

I can sort of understand the situation your in as my son did the same thing, he was bullied for several years by the same boy, I did everything right and told the school who did nothing as the boy "was having a tough time at home".My son eventually turned and was suspended for 3 days and put on a behaviour report. I agree with you, you dont know what their carrying these days and its not worth taking the risk especially when hes obviously dangerous.Hope it turns out alright and your son doesnt get hurt xx

We had a similar situation with one of our boys; he decked a kid that was picking on someone in special ed. Fortunately for us the other kid was in so much trouble that it was not brought up......Our rule was NO, do not hit a school -- "A" school is not a good place. Also, the problems he/we would face if the other family pressed charges....and so it goes. We spent a lot of time TALKING about it and other alternatives!

We also sent him to TKD -- started in middle school. It was really helpful in terms of physical outlet; knew he could defend himself; code of honor and respect - -- I think this did help him to maintain control in HS when he just wanted to lay someone out for "just cause".

GOOD LUCK!!!!!!

TKD -- martial arts Tae Kwon Do

thanks everyone for your replies...i'm going to let my son read them so he can have your persepective too.....thanks again!

I understand not being allowed no weapons on campus and I totally agree with that. But what happened , to letting the young boys/girls punching it out. I am sorry I know thats not totally acceptable to all people or is not politically correct. But I don't remember anyone who brought a weapon to school and neither does my husband. It is very scary to send my daughter to school when she and her friends were threatened in grade school by a bully with a hunting knife.My daughter is very tiny she weighed a lot less than the kid who was bullying her.If it had not been for another young boy kicking the knife out his hand andbeating the crud out of him, I would hate to think what would have happened to my daughter and her friend,so I stood up for my daughter's hero when they tried to press charges against him for school violence,assault and battery...the list goes on,but he did not get expelled of suspended for his good deed and I thanked him and his parents personally.
Many Hugz
Morgaine
sorry for rambling....I do that sometimes

morgaine...your ramble is fine...my son hasn't got into a fight with that other kid...they almost did fight at the movies on friday night, but that didn't happen...and that kid tried to make peace with my son...i just hope my son can move past it and move forward and not hold a grudge...i'm thankful there hasn't been an actual fist fight between them, but if it happens, it happens and the best thing we can do as parents is to be supportive and guide them and direct them the best we can...thanks everyone for your replies!