Parenting Teenagers (12-18) Support Group

This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of teenagers (12 to 18 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development.

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Mouthy 17 year old boy telling off his Mama

The last month or so I have made some serious changes as to how I deal with my 17 year old son. The biggest major accomplishment was getting him going to school everyday after three years of him not going and me not trying to get him there.
Long story on how I made that happen. But it involved some cops and a few nights with no wheres to go.

Anyhow..there are a zillion other things that I would love changed, but I can't do everything. and I can't change my son.

The thing now that I can not simply tolerate anymore is him tell me to f-off..or shut-up..or some variation. For one, it's beyond disrespectable and unacceptable, but second, my 5 year old son hears this and immitates him. My 5 year old has his own set of issues and is very much still like a baby. He is more like 2 or 3 than 5. Now, whenever I get after my son, he will be saying these things to me. or he hears his brother say it, and he goes around saying it for an hour.

So, what do I do to put a stop to this? He has done it for so long that I don't even think he thinks about it when he says it. I do not think he believes that there is truly anything wrong with it. Its perfectly ok to talk to your mother that way.

Which does not make it right, but I guess that the point. I can't change him, I can only change me.

So what can I change about me? Do I lock him out everytime he says it like I did for when he skipped school?

I am sick of this. Tonight for instance, I told him to pick up the sopping wet towel stuffed down behind his bed and he was on the phone with his girlfriend. he told me to f-off. The little boy runs around..f-off Mommy..f-off. So I take the phone from him.
He freaks out. I scream. I always scream. and he really does not think he has done a freaking thing wrong. He harasses me to use the phone. I take the boy and go lock myself in my room so he will leave me alone.

See..this is all so wrong. So very wrong.
How do I stop putting up with this? Do I kick him out and jeaprodize the chances of getting him through school? Would that be wrong of me?

All I know is it has to stop. I just can't put up with it a moment longer.



hi there ,,,mmmm this is a tough one but i really think you should have a talk with him make him understand that you will not tolorat this any more and you will not let him affect your younger son in a negative way tell him if his dont change and if doent respect you when you are the one that pays for the roof over his head and everything else you will let some one else deal with this (bootcamp or boys home),,,,you cant let him run the show when you have a 5 year old that you are trying to teach right ,,,you must put your foot down i know it's easyer said then done but you haveto think about you and your yongest son ,,,,your 17 year old is old enough to know that he is a role model to your 5 year old and he knows whats right or wrong dont think he doesnt know ,,,he just knows he can get away with it you must put a stop to it ,,,i have a 13,12,3,1,at home but i raised a now 22 and a 19 year old and they knew that that kind of behavior i would not endure ,,,good luck hang in there tough love is sometime the only option left ...nancy

Kudos to you for not killing him! He is almost and adult; he'll survive no matter what you do to him. He can't be allowed to run your house like this. He'll drive you nuts.
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