I'm with agreeing on the rule thing, "make it when your having a good day!"Tell him you love him too much to allow him to do this to himself, he needs to hear that you love him,(You know they've heard ya when they roll their eye's) and check with his teachers about his friends, the way he's behaving in class.At this age you can't leave a rock unturned,they have alot of preasure. Some attitude is natural, make sure that's all it is.I'll say a prayer, been there done that!( Have 3 step sons.)

I completely understand the rules thing...been there done that...over and over and over. His teachers compliment him (even with his grades being funny) One day 80 next day 40...studying not studying thing. He is relatively good and helpful...just frustrating...thank you though as I do not feel completly alone I think that is a big big bonus...hugs and loves

I have 2 children that are over 14, although I have 3 teenagers to contend with. What I have done when their attitudes get bad, is role play. When they ask about dinner, I roll my eyes, and I start dinner with banging pots and pans and kitchen cabinets. I do that with anything that I have to do for the kids, such as laundry, sweeping the kitchen, etc. If the attitude gets worse, I will then not cook dinner (having a quick dinner pre-planned), and I would say that it just wasn't what I felt like doing. Then if they don't make any effort to make the dinner, I will get out my pre-planned quick dinner, and I will complain loudly about it. This role playing doesn't take too long for them to see themselves and want to change, if only a little.

Hope this helps.

The dad needs to get on the same page with you. If the dad doesn't seem to care then why should the son? Stop having the 1-1 with the son and make it a 2-1.

I also had a stepmother as a teen and my dad did the parenting (rules, expectations, enforcement, consequences) while she acted as his support. I think that this arrangement helped us to forge a positive relationship with her that has lasted decades.

If you can afford it, go to marriage counseling/family counseling so that he can figure out how to parent with you.

Good Luck!!!!

Two on one is great advise first go to the father and say hey I can't deal with this on my own...then talk 2 to 1 with the son Good luck

Your husband really needs to step up and assist. The two of you are suppose to be a team in raising him. He needs to back you up on all things and make this very aware to his son. Boys are so hard to raise alone as a woman and trust me I know because I have 3 of my own. I do have a finance' but he has entered their lives so late that their already stuck in the own little ways and he doesn't want to cross any lines so he says. Bull! I make him get involved at all times I don't care what he's doing. Why you ask, because he has three boys as well and if we're going to be together we must have order and respect.

My partner is helping me co-parent my 3 sons. All 3 of my boys are adopted, so they have NO biological parent in the house. However, I've had them all from such young ages, that they may as well be my bio-kids. On top of that, they have no MALE role model in the houe.

My partner has every bit as much authority as I do w/my sons - I want my kids to see her as a nother parent. We try to stay on the same page w/each other.

Sometimes my partner feels like I take over and don't share parental authority w/her - like i have the final "say," and when that or other issues like if we disagree about how to enforce a certain issue comes up, I like to talk about it privately so the kids see less division. I DO have to be careful that I don't give double essages to both my partner and the boys.

To give them male role models, all of the boys' teachers at school know of our family dynamics and they are so supportive of us and our parenting style. They stay on my boys and give them the leadership and attention they needs from a "guy."

Age 14 was our worst year for the oldest (now 15) - he challenged nearly everything we did or said w/him. Testing his wings, I guess. Wantng to be treated like a "man," but acting like a 5'6" toddler! And w/no man in the house, he tried to take that role over for himself. My comment; "there may be no dad in this family, so here's the rule; I'm the dad. You got a problem w/that, deal w/it. This family has 2 parents, and you aren't one of them. Period."

Couple's counseling and family counseling would be excellent options if you can afford them somehow.

And dad really does need to step up to the plate.

don't know if any of this helps, but I hope you can bring dad to the table in a responsible way, and not leave you to be the Bad guy while he comes off looking like the good guy to his son. Not cool!!!

Namaste,
Trish

Wow thanks everyone...I have tried many of these methods...they do work for a day or two. I think the other morning was just a boiling point for us. I understand that being a parent is in itself a challenge and your words have been kind and generous. Thank you everyone...p.s. my ss came home that day after school full of hugs and iloveus, and his father well i just make him do some of the 'work'..lol..i say its your turn now, good luck. :) Loves and hugs everyone