Have you gotten him into counseling? I think it would help if both of you got counseling because it really helped my daughter and I. For one reason or another he is really hurting inside.

I had him in counselling but he refuses to go and the counsellors say that there is nothing that they can do if he doesn't want to be there. I have gone by myself but I don't think it's doing any good

I really think that you should call your local social services, at least to find out what programs they have available for someone with your son's problems. If he has already threatened you and pushed you, it is not too far of a reach to think that the situation can only get worse if he won't go to counseling. At least find out what help is available before you need it on an emergency basis. I will pray that things will improve for you and for your son.

Breathe... for godsake... breathe.... slow down, regroup.... and then talk to him. This is a pivotal time... set boundaries (the hitting is WAY unacceptable, and you should tell him this)... but try to talk, and I mean really talk to him. However, if you have an "out of control" kid on your hands then the he must understand there are consequences for getting physical with his mother not matter how bad that hurts you. There has to be boundaries...I pray you will be able to set them and at the same time be there for him.

Best Wishes

I'm sorry to hear about the situation with your son. I know how frustrating and heartbreaking it can be to witness your child making bad decisions, one after another.

The pot-smoking needs to stop. He is probably self-medicating himself.... he may be suffering from depression and should be diagnosed properly. There are obviously some underlying issues that need to be resolved before your son can feel normal and to be able to function at school and within the family dynamics.

I realize what I am about to tell you is easier said than done but you don't have too many choices right now. First of all, let your son that it is NOT okay to put his hands on you (or anyone else). It's NOT okay to disrespect you. Let him know that you understand he's unhappy and that you're there for him. Encourage him to work WITH you not against you.

I would insist that he stop smoking pot. It'll be hard... but he CAN do it. And if you drug test him once a week, maybe he will wean himself off the pot a lot faster.

Let him know that if he wants to stay in the house, he will need to stop smoking pot, see a doctor who can properly diagnose him and take medication (if it's recommended by the doctor -- that way you're not the "bad guy." He needs rules, boundaries and consequences. If you're patient, yet firm and consistent, I have a feeling that you will start seeing some improvement.

Please keep us posted!

My son is also out of control (17 years old). It started last year...I do understand what you are going through! Maybe you need a different counselor...one that your son can relate to. J really likes his but I don't think we see him often enough. It really does sound like your son is self medicating - I like to call it self soothing. My son does the same with cigerettes. Sometimes they just don't know how to voice their feelings...wait it out but don't push. I wish you the best!