Parenting Teenagers (12-18) Support Group

This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of teenagers (12 to 18 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development.

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I can't believe this

deleted_user
deleted_user
My 13 year old daughter has been seeing a guy (16) for about 1 month now. (I know you may think he's too old and she's too young but she's at the age and I figured if I don't let her, she will only do it behind my back. ) Anyhow....... He used to come over regularly, very polite, he treats my daughter with respect, all around a nice boy. Monday night I found out he's been kicked out of his house, he's on probation (don't know why), he's not in school and he's a regular drug user of Ectasy.

My daughter is so heartbroken. I end up crying because she is crying all the time. It's very sad to see her like this. She is trying to convince me to still be able to see him. She says he is trying to change his live. Apenrently he is also very upset over my decision. For far I've caught them twice sneeking to see each other.

Am I crazy to even be asking what should I do???? Deep down I know I should do the tough love and lock my door until he moves on and finds someone else.

This is the first time something like this happens to me and I'm not sure how to handle it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Since he has a drug problem, I would keep him away from her. Plus at 16 he probobly wants to have sex.....I think it's to old for a 13 year old.
deleted_user
deleted_user
He has a drug problem - get your daughter away from him now whist you can !!!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
You are doing the right thing and you know it. You may want to get law enforcement involved. It will be for his own good It may save his live. Drugs kill. Your daughter will probably not understand. It would be nice to have a pill to make us fall out of love. Confort her it probably hurts like she has never felt pain before.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Keep him away from her...you don't want your daughter getting hooked on drugs or getting pregnant right? You can't be a friend to your kids and be a responsible parent...good luck :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
I can relate to how you feel. When my son is heartbroken over a girl, it breaks my heart, just as much. But everyone else is right, if he's using drugs, you really need to try and keep your daughter away from him.

Let your daughter know that you understand her feelings for this boy but if he's using drugs, there is no way that ANY parent would let their child hang out with a drug-user.

I know that kids feel like they're never going to find another boy/girl that they like as much and they feel like it's the end of their love-life. I remember feeling that way too! Just be there for your daughter and let her know, there are other fish in the sea (she'll see one day that you were right) and help her find some activities to keep her mind off of him.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree; keep her away from him. Is there a chance you can speak w/his parents to tell them to keep him away from your daughter? You may have to get the law involved but I don't know if there is anything they can do. Maybe you should talk to the school counselor, or hire one so your daughter has someone to talk to. Usually, our teens will talk to another person when they don't talk to us, the parent. Do you have a good friend who may be able to talk to her? Let us know the outcome.
deleted_user
deleted_user
stick to your guns! She is thirteen! Try to imagine a year ahead if you let them see each other now...he will be the worst influence on her...there should be no reason why she should even be friends with him...no reason at all...he is engaging in criminal activity...try to make her understand that...its's nice that you are feeling her pain...you sound like a great mom! But you are the mom and you know best. His priority should be changing his life for the better without a 13 year old to lean on.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Trust your gut. You have already said what you need to do. That is more than likely the right thing to do. She is only 13 and of course in love. Do you remember 13 and in love? The old saying "love is blind" it is old and we are still using it becasue love is blind, even when we are parents. Hang in there! Take Care, Ton
deleted_user
deleted_user
All of the above are right on. Don't take the chance with your daughter. She's only been seeing him for a month. Make a clean break now before it gets too deep. He will move on when he knows he has no chance. Crying now is better than drug addicted later. Just be prepared for the anger and heartbreak and continue to be understanding of what she is feeling. Best wishes!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Your daughter is too young to be with a 16 yr old. I would not let her see him anymore. Plus if he's doing drugs, that is just more trouble to worry about. I know it would be hard to see your daughter crying over this, but it's going to hurt worse when she ends up pregnant or doing drugs with this guy.....i would def. stand my ground on this issue!!!
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