Parenting Teenagers (12-18) Support Group
This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of teenagers (12 to 18 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development.
My son love World of Warcraft and a couple other games. He would play non-stop if he could. Right now atleast I get him to go to bed but when he's awake, that's all he wants to do. He lives on the computer. This year he's homeschooled and it's hard for me to get him to do his work on computer. I plan to restrict things more and set up more of a schedule and try to get him to do other things. It's just hard because he gets so mad and fights me so much cussing at me etc. I'm trying to recover from alcoholism, quit first actually. So it's hard for me to tell him what to do when I keep messing up and not working right now and don't have much of a life myself. He doesn't have friends really and wont even go anywhere that he's asked to go. He's missed the nice fall weather etc. I feel so guilty like it's all my fault. If I get a life, maybe he will too you know? set an example. He's lost trust and respect for me as his mom and it's hard trying to get it back. Especially when I keep messing up lately. Got drunk last night, so ofcourse while I was in bed all day, he was on computer taking care of himself. It's gotta stop.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
Sorry to be so blunt but if you do not set an example then how do you think he will change.
Also have you done anything with him, playball, ride bikes, jsut go out for a walk and talk?
He needs these things. My son was living with his mother for 4 years after the divorce. He got is so much trouble, tossed out of school twice. I had had enough. I finally stepped up to the plate. He now lives with me. He was on the football team and they went 9&0, his grades are the higest I have ever seen them. All because I take the time to be with him. He does not have many friends because of the move, but that is changing. I also have the computer setup to control his usage and we have a schedule for it, together.
So Step Up and be the Parent!
Hard for you, hard for him.
you are the best mum you could be, guilt is not a good feeling and it keeps you focusing on the things that doesn't work.
When I first read your post about him on the computer all the time, I thought it is not good, I hate computer games (which is silly, why hate them?) but when I kept on reading I felt, smart kid, he is not happy and finding comfort in his games.
It is wonderful you are using this support group and opening up for help. I'm sure it'll help you feel better about yourself.
When you drink, you do the same, you find comfort in the drink, things gets hard and you use the drink more.
find a group you can join that will help you quit drinking. people you can meet every week and get ideas and understanding and some help with your feelings.
make a list of all the the good things you think about yourself and add to that list every day.
I agree with the rest, taking care of yourself first is number one but no need to blame yourself, you did the best you could.
Be strong!
Ronit
http://www.ronitbaras.com