Parenting Teenagers (12-18) Support Group

This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of teenagers (12 to 18 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development.

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/ Parenting Teenagers (12-18) Support Group

How do you Program a 17yr old??

deleted_user
deleted_user
My teen is late to school EVERYDAY!!! she says she will not be late anymore, the next couple days are good then rite back into being LATE!!!! I have the school involved now but what the hell am I suppose to do with a teen that was Born Late?? she is a B student on the ASB teem,but getting to 1st class is a problem when I get a message from attendance that says she is tardy 57times this quarter!!! at the same time I'm the one who takes her to school,and I know when she is late, I wait in the car for 15min at a time,and I am just Ahh!!!!! she tells me at least she is doin good in school, but she is failing 1st period for being Tardy all the time!!!! I just want some suggestions, or anyone that has the same problem!! she is suppose to get her Permit, but for as late as she is I do not trust her, because she is the driver speedin down the road because she is LATE!!!!! I don't Know!!! HELP!!!!!
joemm
joemm
When you find out let us all know
joemm
joemm
When you find out let us all know
joemm
joemm
When you find out let us all know
deleted_user
deleted_user
I feel your pain! With my daughter (15), it's not doing her homework. If she only turned in assignments, her grades would be much better. After we get a report card, and she's grounded, we always see an improvement, but then she slips back into her old habits.
I have found recently, as she is developing more of a social life, that making some priveleges contingent on her taking responsibility for her homework is having some results.
Driving is a privelege. Have you thought about tying some of the conditions of her learner's permit into showing responsibility for being on time? I know she may be old enough to get her permit by herself, but she probably needs your help to get driving hours in. Just a thought. Good luck.
deleted_user
deleted_user
This is something I see a lot. I think there are a couple of things you could do. I think JoanB62's idea of using the permit as a carrot is a good one. By speeding and being late your daughter is demonstrating that perhaps she is not ready to drive. You could frame it to her in this way and then not allow her to drive for the following day if she is late. Consequences that last a long time (like if you didn't let her drive for a week, for example) tend to cause the teen to give up. Another idea, and what would perhaps be the most effective, would be to tap into what is likely most important to her at this time in her life... being cool. In situations like this, I will advise parents to tell their teens that the next time they are late, they (the parents) will walk them to class, enter the class with them, and talk to the teacher about why they are late. Most teens will flip out when they hear this. That's when you know you've hit upon an effective consequence. Let her know that if she is late after this walk to class, tell her you will sit through all her classes with her (talk to the teachers about all of these ideas first of course) to make sure she is not late for any additional classes. As with any consequence, make sure you will actually follow through or you will end up teaching her that you don't follow through and therefore she doesn't need to do what you say. Hope this helps.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Since you drop her off at school. Threaten to tell her you will follow her to class to make sure she gets there on time. She will not want to be embarrassed in front of friends but if that's what it takes to get her to pay attention, so be it.

Reinforce the respect for authority. Let her know that it's disrespectful to her teacher and other classmates. First and foremost, it's disrespectful to you.

Set some rules and conditions. Ex. She won't drive until she can respect your rules.

Don't let her go out with friends until she gets her act straight.

What ever you decide to do whether to try these or not, stick to your decision. Be consistent!

Good luck! I know teens are so hard. I only have 1 daughter. She's 20 now and on her own but in high school she was a total pain in the ass with the same issues you are dealing with.
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