My daughter has been living with me for over a year now. She is in college. Her past experience with my former wife was one of a very strange relationship. The pseudo love was constantly mingled with fighting, sometimes police, cruelty and then coated with a so-called love.My daughter has stayed with me often including a few times where the police and school psychologist recommended it. At the beginning od her senior year in HS the ex brought a man into the home. She cared nothing for my daughter's feelings. My daughter ended up coming to live with me. A short time later the ex sold the house and moved over an hour away to another state. My daughter ended up doing her entire senior year with the feeling she was abandoned. I recently took the ex back to court over her lack of wanting to do anything for her education. I also file for support from her that went directly to my daughter as I did not want her to feel I was trying to make money from this. I have done so much for my daughter. She is a National Honor Society Hs student an an A student after her first college trimester. She began spending a lot of time with certain friends who were into smoking weed (as they call it today. She was always a caring sentimental person but the ALL ME attitude has kicked in. I have constantly gone to counceling to make sure I was doing the right thing. As far as a chore list I do not have one as the couselor stated by now she should have the ability to realize what helping is. She always helped out and cooked. One of the events she had while living with the ex was to be hospitalized for an eating disorder. This was very traumatic and in the long run she did not have an eating disorder. The ex had her going to clinics constantly.I finally stopped all of this. After my daughter lived with me for awhile she received a clear medical exam thus defeating the attempt the ex had on her. his was a contol move that the ex needs over people. Since the end of HS and beginning of college she has been smoking weed. I do not do it and I did very little growing up. All teens go through the need to either drink etc. It is up for the parent to set an example. The ex does smoke but this is hearsay as I have no proof. Before Christmas I broke my foot and am on crutches. My daughter does nothing to help me. She leaves the heat on way too high in her room. She sleeps until noon and goes out until 1-2AM. She leaves almost as son as she gets up. (this is during Christmas break and weekends. She was living on campus but now has decided to commute. She changed her classes to 3 days a week. She had a job at the start of college but recently quit it and has made litle effort to get another. Most of her friends do not drive and she is a chaffeur. I feel she does this to gain friendship sometimes. She has begun treating me terrible. She has swore at me and threw things at me as I was anchored to the couch with the broken foot. I had decided that she needs to help me more and I stopped doing her laundry. I was also upset about her wasting money with the heat etc. I am stopping the mistake of doing everything for her as I am being taken for granted. She even smoked pot in her room with friends but I threw them all out and she was apologetic. But this is a direct disrespecting of me I couldn't believe it. For Christmas she baked me cookies and gave me a big bag of candy. I can't get around that easy and I found the bag of candy near her room 3/4 eaten. She just weent and took it from me without asking. I cannot understand how a person can be so blatantly disrespectful. I do not fight with her and it took me a lonf time with the help of counseling to de-fuse her need to put on the gloves like she did over and over living with the ex. What I feel righ now is that she is displacing reality and maybe trying to bury the hurt of her mother with partying? Believe me I have done so much for her and unlike her mother there are no price tags for doing a good deed. There was never any 'do a favor' with out a payback and this was something that I always fought to change. I feel she is ruining her life and I cannot understand how she can strike out against me. I would always leave letters because she would never sit and talk much with me. I am really confused here. It is almost to't returned the point where if she doesn't come around I am feeling like I do not want her around me. I told her this week she should go back and live on campus as she still has a room there. She left for class Monday morning and hasn't returned nor has she had communication with me. It is pretty sad and I really feel she is burying herself in an alter reality. I saw kids doing this when I was in college.
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