I am the mother of a 14 year old and a 12 year old. The 14 year old is a girl and the 12 year old is a boy--the boy is giving me no problems but the girl is driving me crazy. She is abusive verbally and wants her own way. She is angry at me for a bunch of things but mostly because her biological father left us when she was 4 and he had no visitation rights because he was physically abusive to me--and I actually had a lifetime restraining order which in Michigan is almost impossible to get--but anyway--her problems had been mounting and I sought the advice of a professional counselor which she has been seeing for a few months. It's a long story--but it all came to a head on Thursday of last week when she got in trouble at school. When she came home she said she hated me and my husband (her stepfather who has been in her life since she was 5 and up until the time she turned 13 was her best friend) she said she was leaving and running away. She actually left and I called the police who said they couldn't help because she had to be gone for 4 hours. I contacted her counselor and he told me if she came back to take her to shelter for runaways that they could help her and give. She came back 20 minutes later and talked to her counselor on the phone she said she wanted to leave and go to the shelter because she was angry--I took the counselor's advice and that is where she is now. It is a great program and she will be gone for 15 days (we are on day 6) During the 15 days, she must attend school and I have the option to take her or she can take a MTA bus. I've been off work because of stress related health problems (literally was hospitalized for three days and am now wearing a heart monitor). I've been taking her to school up until today because when I picked her up yesterday she was verbally abusive said she hated me and some other charming things. The counselor suggested some tough love. That I should see her only on our scheduled counseling days and let her take the bus to school. It is very hard and I am going to do it but I've got to tell you--it's killing me.

I'm trying to keep things as normal as possible for her 12 year old brother (pumpkin carving--decorating our yard--etc--all of the regular things we do--but I feel so bad that she is at this place (it's a nice place with licensed social workers and counselors and she is getting the help that she needs but I feel like a failure. She is supposed to ride the bus to the place after school and I am a wreck about it. My heart monitor I'm sure is going to reflect this--I just don't know if I'm doing the right thing or not. HELP!