Ok, I need advise and I am not sure what to make of this situation. I have a 16 year old son Johnathan which I just found out the other day on his birthday, has an attraction to younger boys. He has been depressed over the last couple years. But I thought it was due to merely not having any friends, since he has Aspergers Syndrome and social and communication skills do not come natural. As such he has never really had any friends. But his depression only seemed to be getting worse, on his birthday the other day he was very depressed. I tried to talk to him many times, but he always tells me nothing is wrong and to leave him alone. But I knew something was wrong! On his birthday I had invited a couple of my close friends from work over the house. One of my friends has two boys 12 and 13 which she brought along, I told her she could because it was her sons birthday also. The whole time they were over my son did not talk at all and had a horrible look of depression on his face. After having some cake and opening his presents he asked if he could be excused and went to his room. Later my husband and I had a long talk with him, and each time he would start to mumble something like he wanted to talk but then hold back. Finally he blurted out I feel old and no good, turning 16 sucks! We assured him that he had his whole life ahead of him and that he was not old, but rather my husband being 45 and myself being 44 were getting old. But then he said theres more and nervously blurted out I feel old because I like young boys and started shaking and crying. My husband started going off, but I hugged him and said that it was ok and that I love you no matter what. Mean while I was totally shocked and blown away!! Pedaphiles have always disgusted me! I had a million thoughts racing through my head, could this be true or is it just a phase? If it's true how could he be one at only 16? He finally calmed down and said that he feels old because he is attracted to boys 10-15 and has no attraction to older people. I was also shocked to learn that he had these feelings for boys since 11. How could we as parents been completely blind by this? We tried to explain to him that his feelings are not normal and that we are getting him help, but will still love and support him. Yet he then said to us that there is no such thing as normal, and that we are a product of a brainwashed society. Also he stated that todays generation has changed and there are many boys and young teens over his school years which are supposely also attracted to boys, mainly those with long hair?? And that he feels like a car among them which they believe have depreciated in value because of getting a few years older. Johnathan is a handsome boy and we have always let him wear his hair style the way he wishes, but I never would of thought that had anything to do with this!! He says that he feels like he's now old and ugly and that he does not get the stares and attention from other boys which he used to at school. Also that he missed out on a lot of opportunities to have the type of the friends he wanted in lower classes then him, because he did not know how to talk or start a conversation with them. And that he's tired of seeing all these other boys who have other happy relationships while he missed out?? My husband and I am really confused about this whole situation. Any helpful advise would be greatly appreciated.
Posts You May Be Interested In