coulb be ADD, but who knows unless she sees a doc....I think for her sake she see adoc about that and maybe a couselor for her self esteem. I would not bug her about her weight ...that could lead into a bigger problem(boulemia, anorexia) I think some of may just be she needs some one to talk to ... I would definitely have her see a couselor and talk to them, find out and help her find out why she has personal hygeine problems and why she procrastinates. Clothes eh just clothes no big deal...thats what my 12 yr old wears ;)
She also plays pc games til bedtime, no worries. I would only worry if they interfere with work,social life, and school.
Hope this helps and I wish u and ur daughter the best.
Hugz
Morgaine
ps where I live at 18 its pretty much their decision if they want help as they are legally an adult.

I am making an assumption here, that the upkeep issues are unhealthy by most people's standards - teens and adults. For me, the hygiene issue is a biggie. It creates a barrier to being involved with others. So does the room....makes it difficult to be with other people (unpleasant, wade through stuff, no where to sit....). IT sets up negative reinforcement --- people shy away from me or my room and so there must be something bad about me......So does all of the gaming - distance between you and face to face contact. Frankly, it does not seem ADD to me....there may be some insecurities about herself or relationships with others (or some combo). Would she consider an appt. at the counseling center at her school? First, they probably see a lot of this and second, it's part of your tuition dollars at work.

Good luck, at 18 you are just the "consultant" in their lives! Take Care.

It sounds more like depression than ADD. I agree with penpal that hygene issues have more to do with keeping people away than they do with ADD. It would be good if you could get her to agree to see a counselor.

Sounds like she needs a better outlet try getting her involved in a church group, clothes are normal, hygein- I would agree sounds like low self esteem. good luck with everything. my 15 yr old son has a problem with not brushing his teeth and we have to fight to get him in the bath, he will eventually figure it out. He is ADHD and still has almost the same issues but the weight. Keep the comunication open with her and let her know you LOVE her and she will open up to you when she is ready, just let her know that she can come to you with anything!

Hi Pam,

She has nothing like ADD, there is nothing like that ADD ( and I know, I'm a sepcial Education teacher) lables are just excuses to keep any situation as is.
I agree with Morgaine that she needs to work on her self esteem and build her confidence.
There are so many people that are very succesful and they are messy. In EQ assesemtn I do I have a test and can tell whice kid will function better in a messy environment and which one in an orgenised place. When I sit down with the parents for the report, they are so suprised and confirm that in real life the kid can handle overwhelmed better than other family members)
If you are concerned, tell her, tell her you love her and care for her and you want to know what she thinks and feel about this and ask her how can you as her mum can help her be healthy and happy.
use examples around you to show her how important it is to be healthy. (I'm obssesed about my kids being healthy, I know this is my "tick" - I lost two kids , I can't afford not to be like that) So if someone around is sick, I talk about it and "abuse" the opportunity to tell them why they must, must be healthy. My eldest went through dental surgery last week, short day surgery, the hospital was so not nice (you know, they ask you to come and wait, wait, wait for hours) every day since then, I talk about why we never, never need to be in hospital and stay healthy.
I know I'm not normal in this, but I feel I'm doing the right thing for me.

If this is important to you, do everything you can.
you say she is a wonderful girl, she might be happy, very happy if you talk to her about it.

Good luck
Ronit
http://www.behappyinlife.com/parentcoaching.php

Hi, I believe God gave us our children for a life time. I have grown children, but they are my kids (they are 20-32)I will tell them flat that what they do is my business, and as long as I live they will be.She is in need, you are her Mom, love her to much to sit by and see her crawl into this hole. If she was your friend what would you do? 18- 81 makes no difference.

I have a question. Do people with ADD have the patience to play computor games for hours? I don't know very much about ADD. Could it be she wants the meds. to stay awake? (So she can play longer.)I've known people who abused their kids meds.

Okay, maybe I'm the exception here, but...

Other than the hygiene thing, you just described me. I'm pushing 40, not good at keeping house, outside of work I wear jeans and black t-shirts, I love my video games, and I'm overweight. I've been this way most of my life.

I'm also a college graduate. I have a great job. I have a great significant other. I have found hobbies outside of the house. At this age I've learned to keep my house cleaner. I've lost some weight.

Just so you know, your daughter sounds like the kind of person I'd hang out with. The people I hang out with are gamers, they're not the tidiest or the thinnest people in the world, but they all hold down good jobs, they're all wicked smart, artistic, and fun to be around. None of us do drugs or really drink.

And we're all happy.

She may be depressed, which may have to do with the hygiene thing and her weight issues. However, the rest doesn't seem like a problem to me.

I'm not depressed. I don't have ADD. I love my life and the people in it.

HUGS! Best of luck to you.

Kando,

People with ADD get easily distracted by things like TV and Video Games. They can sit there for hours playing games or watching TV for some reason. In fact, one of my friends has severe adult ADD and if there's a TV on in the room he walks through, it will stop him in his tracks and he'll stare at it until someone turns it off. It's somewhat freaky when that happens.