
Parenting Preschoolers (3-5) Support Group
This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of preschoolers (3 to 5 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development. Join to share your stories and get advice.
When Did Parenting Become an Olympic Sport?

deleted_user
Is it just me or does anyone else feel like parenting is becoming an Olympic Sport? As with every other sport, the more you train, the better you become. You have to get up earlier and earlier, just to get a jump start, you have to take classes, read books, listen to experts. Theres never ending challenges along with never ending advice. Parenting is like running a triathlon and performing a juggling act, every waking hour of the day.
Talk about wearing a lot of hats. These days, parents are expected to wear the hats of the the following experts: Tutor, sports coach, therapist, friend, cook, housekeeper, peace-maker, sleep specialist, nutritionist, researcher, nurse, massage therapist, electronics enforcer, etiquette trainer, and list goes on and on. Its no wonder, parents are completely exhausted these days!
The reason Im bringing this up is because a DS member who is experiencing some life challenges (parenting among them), sent me a message stating how hard she thought parenting was and that so many people on this site make it seem like a breeze. Trust me, it aint no breeze. Especially at my house its more like a tornado. Of course, I think a lot of things come into consideration, when rating the parenting degree of difficulty. How many kids? What are their personalities? How much help do you have? Are you single? Are both parents working full time? How old are they? How old are you? What other life challenges are you facing? What other life challenges are they facing? There are so many variables. But I think we can all agree with one thing. Parenting is no walk in the park. Its like training for a Gold Medal every single day. And in the end, I think all of us deserve Gold Medals.
Id like to open up this discussion to parenting challenges. What do you find the most challenging? The most rewarding? Any great advice youd like to share? Feel free to talk about any aspects of parenting. We all know its rewarding but whos kidding who, we all knowing its very challenging too! Dont let this poor DS member believe that shes the only one with challenging children!
Quote:
That energy which makes a child hard to manage afterward makes him a manager of life. -Henry Ward Beecher
Talk about wearing a lot of hats. These days, parents are expected to wear the hats of the the following experts: Tutor, sports coach, therapist, friend, cook, housekeeper, peace-maker, sleep specialist, nutritionist, researcher, nurse, massage therapist, electronics enforcer, etiquette trainer, and list goes on and on. Its no wonder, parents are completely exhausted these days!
The reason Im bringing this up is because a DS member who is experiencing some life challenges (parenting among them), sent me a message stating how hard she thought parenting was and that so many people on this site make it seem like a breeze. Trust me, it aint no breeze. Especially at my house its more like a tornado. Of course, I think a lot of things come into consideration, when rating the parenting degree of difficulty. How many kids? What are their personalities? How much help do you have? Are you single? Are both parents working full time? How old are they? How old are you? What other life challenges are you facing? What other life challenges are they facing? There are so many variables. But I think we can all agree with one thing. Parenting is no walk in the park. Its like training for a Gold Medal every single day. And in the end, I think all of us deserve Gold Medals.
Id like to open up this discussion to parenting challenges. What do you find the most challenging? The most rewarding? Any great advice youd like to share? Feel free to talk about any aspects of parenting. We all know its rewarding but whos kidding who, we all knowing its very challenging too! Dont let this poor DS member believe that shes the only one with challenging children!
Quote:
That energy which makes a child hard to manage afterward makes him a manager of life. -Henry Ward Beecher
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I really am glad I read that book, even if it is a bit outdated and doesn't give much advice on how to work with these children. I know I am not alone and that when people tell me that I am just not being hard enough, they are the ones who are misguided. I really like Alfi Kohn's philosphies of child rearing, but I don't always manage to live up to them. And I think that is it. It seems like a competition at times, so I withdrew. There's another good book--"Perfect Madness" which talks about this generation of women and their tendancy to really think it can all be done seamlessly. I don't think it can. And I don't believe that a little complaining, venting, saying, "Hey, this is hard work and I need some help." is a bad thing. Unfortunately, I think in our very disconnected society, we often go unheard or ignored. So, whether parenting is an Olympic sport...Well, I'm sure PTA give medals for parent of the year, but it's really nothing you can train for or nothing you get to stand on a podium and smile holding a loving cup. It's in the small moments.
My favorite quote on challenging children:
"People with great passions, people who accomplish great deeds,
People who possess strong feelings, even people with great minds and a strong personality, rarely come out of good little boys and girls."
L.S. Vygotsky
I have a very spirinted child at home but in public or school she is very reserved and well behaved, which is good, but I constantly hear negative comments about how not everyones child can be perfect like mine, which I would never think, or when I say she was misbehaving, other mom's laugh or joke, about how I wouldn't know, etc. I think the Judgement is very hard, it makes you feel alienated no matter how your child behaves, it is never the norm, because there is no norm for children!
I think the most challenging part of parenting for me is managing my expectations and finding that well of patience that you need. I'm not very good at it. When my 5 year old whines or throws a tantrum I look at her and think "Oh for the love of god, you are 5, aren't you too old for this?" I feel like she has been so verbal from such an early age, shouldn't see be able to better articulate and express her frustrations? And when I tell her no, shouldn't see just accept her fate? And the answer....duh, of course not. But my expectations on her behaviour also lead to my lack of patience for it. I am trying harder. It's embarrassing when I find myself arguing with a 5 year old.... and losing, by the way. And I have to cut down on the yelling. Yes, I'll admit it... there is yelling at my house. See, no Mother of the Year here.
I find the most rewarding part of parenting the love that my girls have for each other. They love each other, protect each other, make each other laugh and genuinely like to be together. And it's weird that I say that's the most rewarding part of parenting because I'm not sure it has anything to do with parenting.
Parenting may be an Olympic event, but do we ever finish the race? When the kids are out of the house and married with their own kids do you think you stop worrying about them? I doubt it. I think the reward unfolds every day in barely perceptible ways.... an act of kindness, conquering a fear, reaching some milestone... but it is the most thrilling race of all, isn't it?
I think more parents should take an active interest in their children's lives more often and it would bring them closer. Our family doesn't miss a meal together when we are at home. During school the kids eat there but at home we have breakfast (yes at 6:00am before school) and supper in the evenings after *helping* our older children with homework, not sending them to their rooms to do it alone. We also play after supper until bedtime. We don't stick them at the t.v. or with video games to occupy themselves til bedtime or get them involved in so many sports that they have little to no time to study for school.
Anyway, I think more parents should be the Tutor, sports coach, therapist, friend, cook, housekeeper, peace-maker, sleep specialist, nutritionist, researcher, nurse, massage therapist, electronics enforcer, etiquette trainer and maybe their children would be more well-balanced and happier children overall.