
Parenting Preschoolers (3-5) Support Group
This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of preschoolers (3 to 5 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development. Join to share your stories and get advice.
First of all let me say I am sorry for your loss. I am also a stay at home mom. We only have one car and my husband uses it almost everyday. Since I dont work, I really dont have much spare cash to use either. But having said this, Dependant on how I feel. If it is pretty outside, I dont care if its cold or hot, as long as the sun is shining my son is going outside to play for 30 minutes to an hour. They do the same thing at daycare centers even in the winter. Because kids will go stir crazy if they do not get a release.
I also have school with my son who is now 4. It is only 10-15 minutes at a time. I teach him ABCS, NUMBERS, MATH SCIENCE. I use curriculums from the internet. You can print out pages for them to color and art projects. It is all free. It really gets their mind going. In the summer and fall we always go to the park and have lunch there. Its free. In the winter and all year round I take him to the library. Once or twice a month we go to Stevi B's which is a pizza buffet for 4.50 and they have games, he loves it.
My son still watches too much TV, I just try to keep him involved in something the best I can.
Hope that helped a little. God Bless
As far as your kids watching too much TV... use it when you need it, TV is like anything else, a tool we can use when we need it.
What I do as a stay at home mom isn't all that relevant because what you are experiencing is grief. But if it helps you, I drive my kids to school, (the little one is in preschool, older one in DK) so I have a couple hours for myself in the morning where I run errands and try to exercise (I'm 7.5 months pregnant so there isn't too much exercise going on). When I pick the little one up from school, I give her lunch and play with her until I put her down for her nap at 1P. I have a babysitter who comes and watches her while I go and pick up my older daughter at 2:30P. When I get home in the afternoon, we spend the rest of the day coloring, drawing, playing games, riding our bikes... actually, I don't do any of that.... they do and I will read the paper, prepare dinner, fold laundry, or sit here at the computer.... occasionally I will do an art project with them or play a board game. But they are really good at entertaining themselves and each other. I try to tidy up some, but not too successfully. Then after an early dinner, we have bath, play and then daddy comes home to to teeth brushing and stories and tuck in.
I'm so sorry for your loss, my mother died a year ago and I know how hard it is... how lost you feel. I think it was especially poignant for me because I have kids. Although kids can be great at distracting you, when you lose a parent, it makes it harder to imagine not sharing those many kid moments with your parents.
Good luck to you.
7:30 am: Wake-up to 3 yr. old calling "Momma, Momma"
Put on a pot of coffee
Turn on Goodmorning America
8:00 am: Wake-up 5 yr. old and get the boys fed, dressed and ready to go to pre-school.
8:45 am: Out the door to school we go ready or not. (3 yr old usually doesn't want to take big brother to school)
9:15 am: Back home, pre-school time for 3 yr old. we do books ( I read) and we do puzzles. We draw pictures for daddy. We talk about colors and letters and numbers. He tells me stories etc...
11:15 am: We go pick up 5 yr old from school. Again ready or not.
12:00 pm: We eat lunch
12:30 pm: They watch a movie and play.
2:00 pm: Quiet time. 3 yr old takes a nap, 5 yr old and I do his homework, play games, read books
3:00 pm: Snack time. I start thinking about dinner, watch a little tv while 5 yr old plays quietly.
4:00 pm: Wake up 3 yr old. Start dinner. I usually let boys help me cook.
Husband gets home and boys go play till dinner's ready.
5:30 pm: Eat dinner
6:00 pm: Husband and I play with boys.
7:00 pm: Bath time. Boys watch a movie, husband and I sit a talk about our day.
8:00 pm: Story time, I read 3 or 4 stories everynight
8:30 pm: Night-night time we say goodnight to the boys.
As for depression find a great counseler and maybe anti-depressants for a while. That is what helped me after my mother's suicide.
I hope this is somewhat helpful!
The days are long enough with 2 little ones, but when you're depressed and sad, it's probably unbearable. As soon as you can start battling your depression, you can get back to having fun and enjoying the days with the kids.
In the interim, I would try to stick to a schedule as much as possible. Maybe limit TV to one show in the morning (while you're preparing breakfast) and then after breakfast take the kids for a walk, to the park or to a museum. After lunch, put them down for a nap (so that you can have time just for you) or at least insist on quiet time for everyone. In the afternoon you can do some type of project (my kids LOVE arts and crafts).
Some of the other things we do:
*Games
*Puzzles
*Legos
*Play-Dough
*Hide & Seek
*Treasure Hunts
*Obstacle Courses
I also have the kids enrolled in some afternoon activities: Baseball, Ballet, Art Class, etc. And of course we do some playdates and the never-ending errands!
Do you participate in any Mommy and Me's? Or Toddler Gym Classes? This is a great way to meet other moms and allow the kids to let loose (without sucking the life out of YOU).
Please keep us posted on how you're doing. Best of luck to you!
7:00 am - up and shower
7:30 am - both kids up 6 and 2 year old.
8:00 am - Breakfast w/cartoons
8:30 am - Off to the gym, this is a good way to work out things on your mind, plus you have the added bonus of talking to adults.
11:00 am - back home get lunch ready for kiddies - w/cartoons
12:00 - 12:30 pm - take my son to school
12:30 pm - 2:00 pm - let my daughter play
uninterrupted by her brother.
2:00 pm - NAPTIME!
2:15 pm - 3:38 pm - stare at computer and type.
3:38 pm - Son comes home
3:40 - 4:30 pm - cuddle and talk to my son about his day.
4:30 pm - get baby girl up
4:30 pm - Let kids kill eachother on a daily basis.
5:00 pm - start dinner
5:45 pm - 6:16 pm - husband comes home and runs on treadmill.
6:15 pm - 7:00 pm- I train my husband with weights - this is great fun for me, not so much for him sometimes!
7:00 pm - dinner - I hate this, but I like to eat as a family.
7:30 pm - bathtime & playtime w/daddy
8:00 pm - bedtime for baby girl.
8:30 pm - bedtime for little boy.
8:30 - 11:00 pm - Mommy and Daddy time.
This is a vicious cycle. You will find yourself at some point and that is what is important as long as you share your love and companionship with your children they will be fine. Kids can learn a lot of good stuff from TV as long as you at least keep it to PBS and some Disney cartoons. Your body and mind need time to grieve and you need to remember your dad is still with you in your children and in your heart. I wish you the best.
Do you have a friend or family member you can reach out to that can help with the children occasionally so you have time alone?
I wouldn't worry that the children watch a little extra t.v. each day. If you don't have anyone to reach out to for child care so you can have a break then you need your time somehow.
I have a son, he is going to be 5 in May. Some suggstions:
1. Try to get out every day with your little ones...to a mall, to the library, to the park, go for a drive, just get out of your house.
2. Like one of the other member here suggested...teach them ABC's, numbers, sing (i know you dont feel like it), read books to them.
3. See if your local YMCA has a mommy and me class or check play centers in your area...music together is a PHENOMENAL program, pricey, but, it is soo worth it and children from birth to age 5 can attend....their site is www.musictogether.com...
4. Color, do arts and crafts...you can get ideas, print outs from the internet
I hope my ideas and everyone else's ideas so far, have helped you...again, my heartfelt sympathy and sincere condolences to you...please join the breavement forum, if you havent joined already..i am a member there.
HUGS, THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS.