
Parenting Preschoolers (3-5) Support Group
This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of preschoolers (3 to 5 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development. Join to share your stories and get advice.

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mydanielboy My daughter Aubrey will be 5 next month. She was very excited about becomming a big sister, she would hug my belly, and kiss it when she went to bed each night. My husband and I were open with our children when we found out that Daniel might die. I was admitted to the hospital for tests to figure out what caused his hydrocephalous( water on the brain), he was born 6 days later. He lived on a ventaltor for 7 days, he had a malformation in a blood vessel in his brain, causing his heart to be enlarged. We showed out kids pictures of him before they met him so they would know what to expect. We talked about the tubes and machines and thier purposes. They sat with us at his burial, we told them how special he was and that he is still thier brother and they will play with him in heaven. Her questions can be hard to answer, like does he have clothes there and who is there to hold him. She tells me that she would have been a good sister to him if he came home from the hospital. Did we share to much? She seems to be doing ok. Sometimes she goes into his room and dresses her babies up in his clothes and diapers, I leave her alone unless she engages me to play with her. Am I doing the right thing? We aren't going to be having anymore children so how can I help her to fulfill or let go of the role she expected to have as a big sister?
Posted on 03/03/07, 12:03 am
Posted on 03/03/07, 12:03 am
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We had a somewhat similar situation last year as both my 5 and 2 year old were preparing for twin sisters. Around 18 weeks into the pregnancy, we lost one of the girls and we had to unfortunately share this with our children. Without being specific on what we told them, I too encourage you to determine what your beliefs are and share them with your daughter on where your son is now. Be direct and concrete on what you share and allow for Aubrey to ask questions. In fact, after you share the news, it really becomes important to let her questions lead the way.
Again, my condolences to your entire family.
Dr. J