for some reason I do not see this topic anymore.

Well you have to remember you are the mom and what you say goes give her nutritious food she won't starve herself she will eat when she gets hungry kids know how to play on us but when it comes to parenting this is a job you can not get tired with. Consistency is the key none of us are perfect but it has to be done. With the hitting biting and kicking put her on time out she screams and cries cause she knows you will eventually give in. As long as you let her play on that she will.

First of all, I really admire you for realizing that there is a problem with your daughter and taking responsibility for her negative behavior. Kudos to you. Now that you recognize the problem, you just need to work on a solution. I posted a discussion about behavior about a 5 weeks ago and I'm cutting and pasting here for you. Please keep us posted and let us know how things are going for you.

ADDRESSING NEGATIVE BEHAVIOR:

One thing that I believe works for every family (no matter what style of parenting you use) is CONSISTENCY. Consistency is KEY (especially for younger kids). If you keep changing the rules and consequences, it becomes confusing for them. Kids need routines and stability to feel safe and secure in their environment. Also, mean what you say. And say exactly what you mean. Be clear and concise with the rules and the consequences. If a rule is broken, you absolutely have to follow through with the consequence. If you waver, bend the rules or fail to follow through, kids will sense your ambivalence and weaknesses and go in for the kill!

Here are a few other tips that really work for our family:

**Give your children one-on-one time every day. They need your undivided attention for at least 15 minutes a day. Call it their special time and let them choose the activity. Make sure you really focus on him/her during this uninterrupted time. Dr. Harvey Karp, a nationally renowned pediatrician, calls this "Feeding the Meter." This is a practice I use in my own home and I think it works great!

**Reward Charts: Reward charts encourage positive discipline and help build self-esteem. You can use reward charts for numerous matters. I typically use reward charts for a negative behaviors that need work. I usually have the kids earn between 5-7 stickers before they earn their reward. And the rewards can be anything from a day at the park to a new toy. Ive used reward charts for sleeping issues, eating issues, treating people with respect, listening, etc. You can use them for just about anything! And kids feel proud when they earn something on their own.

**Kids Learn by Example: I truly believe this! If you yell, scream and lose your temper. Your child will learn from your behavior. Obviously when children are young, they are going to cry and maybe even scream but if we remain calm and teach them the proper way to behave, they will eventually learn that they do not get their way by yelling and screaming and that its not the proper way to get your attention. Kids love it when we lose our temper, it means that they have controlled your emotions and they basically win. No matter how upset you are, try to remain calm. Take a deep breath and deal with the situation in rationale manner.

**Although we are absolutely teaching our children that the parents are in charge, its nice to let children assert their independence by allowing them to make a few choices of their own each day. This goes a long way and reduces their frustration when you have to say no to them on more important decisions/disagreements.

**There are also two books that I highly recommend:

*1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 by Thomas W. Phelan (Author)

* Positive Discipline A-Z: 1001 Solutions to Everyday Parenting Problems by Jane Ed.D. Nelsen, Lynn Lott, and H. Stephen Glenn (they also have special editions for toddlers, preschoolers, and teens)