Parenting Preschoolers (3-5) Support Group
This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of preschoolers (3 to 5 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development. Join to share your stories and get advice.
My three year old daughter now is full bag od behavioral problems-- biting, hitting, throwing stuff, yelling, does not listenning to me or other adults. With all this-- shy and not talkative.
Plus, poor nutrition-- cheereous with chocolad milk, beef or chicken, whole grain nuddles or rice, strowberries or rapberries, rarely yogurt.At school-- mostly graham crackers and other sweets. That's it.
I will start straight by telling that I am mostly the person to blame for these problems. First and foremost, I am not strong and I often giving up on my daughter demands, when she cryes or yells strong enough.
Second and this is part of the first- I am not consistent. Why? When I have the strenghts (physical and moral) I am standing for my decision. When I am extremely tired-- I am giving up.
Third, I am not talkative and shy myself.
Forth, I chose volunteerely be a single parent-- when my huubu found work in other state, I chose to stay and continue my Ph.d.
Fifth, by doing that ( choosing being single parent and Ph.d. student) I think I completly overestimate my abilities--meaning that I am too often tired and irritated.
Meaning of this all-- quality of the parenting suffers. I would appreciate any advice that you could give me.
Plus, poor nutrition-- cheereous with chocolad milk, beef or chicken, whole grain nuddles or rice, strowberries or rapberries, rarely yogurt.At school-- mostly graham crackers and other sweets. That's it.
I will start straight by telling that I am mostly the person to blame for these problems. First and foremost, I am not strong and I often giving up on my daughter demands, when she cryes or yells strong enough.
Second and this is part of the first- I am not consistent. Why? When I have the strenghts (physical and moral) I am standing for my decision. When I am extremely tired-- I am giving up.
Third, I am not talkative and shy myself.
Forth, I chose volunteerely be a single parent-- when my huubu found work in other state, I chose to stay and continue my Ph.d.
Fifth, by doing that ( choosing being single parent and Ph.d. student) I think I completly overestimate my abilities--meaning that I am too often tired and irritated.
Meaning of this all-- quality of the parenting suffers. I would appreciate any advice that you could give me.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
ADDRESSING NEGATIVE BEHAVIOR:
One thing that I believe works for every family (no matter what style of parenting you use) is CONSISTENCY. Consistency is KEY (especially for younger kids). If you keep changing the rules and consequences, it becomes confusing for them. Kids need routines and stability to feel safe and secure in their environment. Also, mean what you say. And say exactly what you mean. Be clear and concise with the rules and the consequences. If a rule is broken, you absolutely have to follow through with the consequence. If you waver, bend the rules or fail to follow through, kids will sense your ambivalence and weaknesses and go in for the kill!
Here are a few other tips that really work for our family:
**Give your children one-on-one time every day. They need your undivided attention for at least 15 minutes a day. Call it their special time and let them choose the activity. Make sure you really focus on him/her during this uninterrupted time. Dr. Harvey Karp, a nationally renowned pediatrician, calls this "Feeding the Meter." This is a practice I use in my own home and I think it works great!
**Reward Charts: Reward charts encourage positive discipline and help build self-esteem. You can use reward charts for numerous matters. I typically use reward charts for a negative behaviors that need work. I usually have the kids earn between 5-7 stickers before they earn their reward. And the rewards can be anything from a day at the park to a new toy. Ive used reward charts for sleeping issues, eating issues, treating people with respect, listening, etc. You can use them for just about anything! And kids feel proud when they earn something on their own.
**Kids Learn by Example: I truly believe this! If you yell, scream and lose your temper. Your child will learn from your behavior. Obviously when children are young, they are going to cry and maybe even scream but if we remain calm and teach them the proper way to behave, they will eventually learn that they do not get their way by yelling and screaming and that its not the proper way to get your attention. Kids love it when we lose our temper, it means that they have controlled your emotions and they basically win. No matter how upset you are, try to remain calm. Take a deep breath and deal with the situation in rationale manner.
**Although we are absolutely teaching our children that the parents are in charge, its nice to let children assert their independence by allowing them to make a few choices of their own each day. This goes a long way and reduces their frustration when you have to say no to them on more important decisions/disagreements.
**There are also two books that I highly recommend:
*1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 by Thomas W. Phelan (Author)
* Positive Discipline A-Z: 1001 Solutions to Everyday Parenting Problems by Jane Ed.D. Nelsen, Lynn Lott, and H. Stephen Glenn (they also have special editions for toddlers, preschoolers, and teens)