This is a challenge. Laying down with them is comforting to them but a hard habit to break. I basically had a family bed with my 2 kids who are now 3 and 4 until they were a bit older. In my situation is lack of space so at the ages of 14 mos and 2 1/2 I had to get them somehow in their beds. At this poinbt they both woke up alot and we chose the cry it out method. My daughter was the baby and at 13 mos it took 3 days and she has slept com[pletely through the night in her own bed since. She is now 3. My son was a more of a challenge seeing as he was older and it was a process with him. First we would gradually lengthen the time he was in our bed. After about 3 weeks he also was doing better. Its really up to you but I tried several methods and this was the only one that worked. I now have a 3 and 4 yr old that sleep wonderfully all night. I know its hard hearing them cry I was in tears myself because in our situation I felt like it was my fault cause I did not do it when they were younger. Good Luck

Thank you for your advice. I know I need to just let my kids cry, but I just feel so bad about it.

You have to let them cry it out. I personally have never had the problem because since mine came home from the hospital they slept in their own beds. My mom said she had problems with my sister not sleeping in her own bed and not sleeping through the night. She did the cry it out thing. So, you really might want to try that out. I know it's going to be hard but you have to do something. You will probably be in tears with them but you have to know it will get better and be better for everyone all the way around. Just try it out and see how it works for you.

Love, April

Well your not alone. I tried to let my kids cry it out and we all ended up crying. It was very hard. My kids also will fall asleep in their beds but wake up in mine. I think first thing is first....you have to stop laying with them. The way I broke my kids of this was telling them exactly what I was doing while they were going to sleep. Just be honest. Tell them you have to fish up the laundry or take a shower....that seemed to help mine fall asleep.

By the way.....for me crying it out lasted about 3 hours. It was horrible and then the thought occurred to me that it wasn't a big deal anymore to keep them in their beds. As long as they sleep. I can remember some nights I slept in my moms bed and it wasn't a big deal. What I say now....and this is my own personal opinion....there are way worse things in life.

The kids are depending on you for the comfort and security they need to fall asleep. So when they wake up in the night, they need to come and find you. Before you will have any peace, they will have to learn to fall asleep without you. We developed a bedtime routine and stuck to it, so they always knew what to expect. Tooth brushing, jammies, 3 books and a saying from my childhood "Night, night sleep tight don't let the bed bugs bite. Okee doke see you in the morning." And I would give a kiss and leave the room. They also got lots of cuddles and lovin' during the stories so they knew they weren't being rejected. We went through this when my son transitioned from the crib to the twin-size bed. I don't remember how long it took, but I know it was NOT easy. One night I silently put him back in his bed twenty times. (I counted)Only you can make the change......they will never do it on their own. My neighbor has two daughters 7 and 12 who sleep with her when her husband travels on business. She never likes to see them upset........nuf said........

My kids hate going to bed too. And while it's still not a joyous process, it has gotten better over the last year or so.

I agree with Derricksmom, you MUST establish a set bedtime routine. You need to sit them and explain the new routine with them... and while your 20 month old might not understand everything you're talking about... he'll get the idea after a few nights (maybe a week) if you're really, really consistent and firm.

It's really hard to let your kids cry, I know, I've done it. But I promise you, as long as they are in a safe environment, they will not harm themselves just by crying... but hopefully, with a really consistent and firm routine there will be very little tears.

You might want to draw out the routine and cut and paste pictures on a chart so that your children know exactly what to expect with the new routine. Let them know that it's not okay for them to come and sleep with you during the night.... and when they do come in, you will need to walk them back to their beds and stay with them until they have calmed down (or fallen asleep). You may be a walking zombie for a few weeks but it will be worth it in the end.

I also recommend the book: The Sleep Easy Solution. It's an excellent sleep guide.

Good luck!
xo

My kids did the same thing at age three.I promise it gets better if you stay to the same routine.Leave a night light on in his room and maybe give him a book to read until he falls asleep.If he gets up keep taking him back to his room until it works.Good Luck.

I agree with the other moms. It will be a tragic process and the first two or 3 nights will be hard, but you have to tell yourself that it IS for their good. You make them get their vaccinations because even though it hurts, it is the best thing for them. You can't protect them from everything and for them to be able to calm themselves down and rest easy without your aid will be a godsend for all of you.

DON'T GIVE UP! and when you put them to bed, don't have any more conversations with them OR debates. Sweetly say, "bedtime" and put them back in bed. If they are staying in bed, but crying, don't reasure them because it will only remind them that you are around but not there. Hang in there! YOU ARE MOTHER, YOU ARE STRONG.

My kids are fine going to sleep. My daughter sleeps through the night in her bed, but my son climbs into bed with me at random times during the night and I just let him sleep in bed with me in the hopes that someday he will sleep in his own bed throughout the night. For me, the situation is a bit different. They go away and stay with their Bio-father everyother weekend, so I feel in my gut that my son needs to be with me, so I just let it go. It is traumatic enough that their sleep schedule is inconsistent due to visatation schedules....good luck