Well Leah Michelle is now 1 month old, i can say the past few weeks have been the hardest ones of my life and that i'm going to have plenty more to follow. i have to say iv'e been struggling a bit, almost started smoking again but have that back under control. i get so frustrated and upset and angry at times, and feel really low but have no idea why. i hate the fact that sometimes i wish i could just run away and leave everything behind, i wish i didnt feel like this but i just cant help it most of the time, people keep saying i need help but i think that the only person who needs to be looked after and cared for is my little baby. My partner helps out a little bit but i dont think he realises how difficult and challanging it is and how much hard work it is being with her 24/7. i have had a word with him and hes said he will help me out more round the house and with Leah so i dont have as much to do. i just hope he sticks to his promise. i also hope Leah starts sleeping through very soon as its sooo tiring doing night feeds all on my own when my partner is on morning shifts! i understand he has to work and i apprechiate all the work he does but at least he can go somewhere without having to take her he gets a break it might not be to the best place in the world but its away, i just hope i can begin to handle how i feel, i dont want to end up ill again....
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