What a great topic. I think you make a great point in that no matter what approach parents take, they need to realize they are making the right one. Another thing to keep in mind and something I always remind parents is they need to be in agreement on their decision...or that might create some unwanted friction.

For me, I could never do the cry it out. I tried with my daughter (who was my first). When she was 6-7 months old, I started leaving her in her crib to get herself to sleep. I had read that the time they cry would dwindle down. It was hard for me to make it through 5-10 minutes. Well, one night she had thrown up all over herself. I moved her mattress next to my bed on the floor after that. With her and my next one I was in with them when they went to sleep (naps and nighttime). I nursed them to sleep.

As they got older it took awhile to get them to sleep and I got tired of being in the room for so long at night, before my bedtime, in the dark. Once I moved them to their own room it was enough for them to know I was up.....still is. My daughter was in our room until she was almost 5. We would have liked her out sooner but their were other circumstances. We moved her out of our room at the same time as the second child, my oldest son who was 2.

Fast forward to my third. He\'s in his crib next to my bed. He goes to sleep for his naps by himself and likes me to read while he goes to sleep at night. That has worked out real well for both of us. We will move him out of our room between 2-2 1/2 years. I learned a lot through my first two. :)

I do let them cry when it\'s for something they can\'t have or that has been taken away...just didn\'t have the heart to do it at nighttime.

I\'m not against it, the parent just needs to have the fortitude to go through with it.

With my 6 month old i tried the the cry it out method, but it didnt work, so i decided to do some research on it. I read that by going to them when they cry creates a trusting bond between the baby and the parent that last a lifetime. So now when my daughter cries i go to her, pick her up, and just talk or sing to her. It seems to calm her enough to go to sleep or even to go back to playing. Now all i have to do at bedtime is rock her to sleep, lay her in her crib, and she sleeps all through the night. But babies are all unique so theres no telling what will work for another child. Hope this helped you and your friend.

I think you have to find a balance between soothing your baby and allowing them to learn to go to sleep on their own. My son went through a stage where he just wanted to keep nursing until he fell asleep. I had to set a limit, it wasn\'t fair to either of us to keep that up. Now when I know he\'s sleepy I try a few things like nursing him a little, rocking him, or singing to him. If after a while these things don\'t work I put him to bed and let him fuss a little bit. I think letting him cry it out is okay for a little while. If he fusses for a few minutes, no big deal. But if he cries for longer then 15 minutes, or his crying becomes frantic I\'ll definitely pick him and try something else. Now he\'s starting to learn to sooth himself.

I believe you are talking about the Ferber method ( crying out method).You may want to do soem reading on the Ferber to see if that may work for your baby. I do know parents that have followed the Ferber method and had it worked.

I am reading this book at the present time. It is very informative. A little clinical but well worth reading. I am gaining additional insight and reinforcing what I have already learned about sexual addiction.

Highly recommended

This is one of the first books I read on sex addiction, probably because it was one of the first published. It provided an adequate overview of the addiction "at that time", however Patrick's philosophy relies too heavily on adapting the alcohol-centric model to sex addiction which is lacking. We do not require alcohol to live, whereas with sex we do - it's part of living.

There is also a heavy religious undertone to his books, which personally doesn't work for me as I prefer self-reliance to giving away my personal power.

I found some useful information in this book, but agree that the heavy religious overtones weren't helpful to me. I think he has another one called "In the shadows of the net" that is specifc to internet porn, but I havent read that one. Both I think I are based on the 12 steps.

As the spouse of a recovering SA with no slips or relapses since I discovered him three years from Easter 2011, I strongly reccomend this as one of the first readings for the spouse to explain the addiction and come to grips with the logic that his addiction has nothing to do with you.

P. Carnes is one of the trail blazers for some of the most successful recovery programs for sex addiction.

Lorilou

Oh, I guess I need to bring the rating up.

Great book for me. Gave so much insight and wisdom into this addiction. Great first read for recovering addicts.