Parenting Big Kids (5-8) Support Group

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Struggling with my son

I have a 6 year old son who is acting out big time. It started with yelling at me and having temper tantrums. Then he started yelling at his sister and now starts with the anger and yelling but has turned into hitting me or threating to hit me (he does not hit his sister). He gets angry at me so fast and takes out all of his anger on me, even if he is mad at his dad. I watch him with my husband and he is a completely different little boy, he is the boy i had 4 months ago and i miss him. His anger hurts so bad and i'm trying eveything i can think of, yelling back, taking things away, time outs, charts, rewards..... I just don't know how to deal with his anger towards me and don't even know why it is there, nothing has changed in the last 4 months. I have talked to him and asked why and there is really no answer.
any ideas would be great. I miss my little boy so much and my heart breaks each time he gets so angry.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

By reading your post, I would say something did happen. Maybe not with you, but a female in some aspect. I don't think he's going to talk to you about whatever it is either. For now, I would see if your husband will talk to him and help out on this one, especially if he's all lovey and nice to him. Your husband needs to step up and show your son that's not OK to treat his mom like crap, and how to apologize for this behavior. Then, he can work with him on what is going on. Maybe someone at school is picking on him, maybe a teacher is mean (and is female) or maybe the bus driver? I don't know, but he's 6 and apparently hates all girls right now, so I would assume a girl has pissed him off - not you, but a girl and you are mom, and you are there, and he's going to unleash on you.
I could be way off base - but this is my first guess based on experience with my sons...and if it were me, I'd pull dad in on this one for help with it. HUGS - stay strong! :)
deleted_user
deleted_user

Thank you!
deleted_user
deleted_user

I agree with 2boyzmom. I'm a father of boys and I hear them get lippy with their mother, and I come down on it right away. "This is NOT how you speak to the woman that loves you unconditionally and puts so much of her self into you and all that is around you. You need to show her love and respect." I tell them to apologize and give her a big hug.

In the event their father isn't around to tell them this, feel free to read my post to them, and let them know it's easy to get angry at the ones we love, but hard to tell them how much we love them, or even to tell them what's bothering us. You are their best friend, and you can solve almost any problem, but they have to tell you what the problem is.
deleted_user
deleted_user

My 9 yr old son was doing the same thing with his sister and I the past two months. His father is not around so I don't have that male support in place. I later came to realize his lunch room teacher was mistreating him and also his home teacher was ignoring him. He never told me until recently.

Getting a male to speak with him will certainly help him to speak up but it is not OK for him to be rude or angry with you.